Long time no see?

Here's why:

Glorious Day is glorious DONE

Finals at ECU have me swamped--I didn't even go home for Thanksgiving.  Two major projects due in the next week and a half.  We ate at the Averys this year and I have dodged the guilt-ridden phone calls from my family.

Finals at MACU have me swamped--grade, grade, grade, repeat.

Double chapels this week plus a mini program this week for the museum guild and a Thursday I have to be at work this week.

Church program next Sunday 6pm if you can make it (plus the dress rehearsal this Thursday).

Worship minor social on Monday afternoon--not a big deal, but another night I'll be home late.

Staff meal on Friday--which will be fun, but one more thing on the list.

Pictures with Lauren--again, super awesome and I begged her for them a while back, but another thing to make sure no one falls down and skins anything between now and then. . .and the decision about what to wear. . .

I went shopping at midnight on Thursday--and I'm still paying for it.

We have a student from MACU staying with us this weekend.

Lily had her eye appointment--patch it is for a month, then back to Raleigh near Christmas for step 2:  which could be drops and maybe surgery.  

And when I start to feel badly about my busy schedule, I remind myself:

I have a great family.

I have a great job.

I have a great church.

I have great friends.

I am so, so blessed and I need to shut up.

So, for the record, I'm not complaining, I just wanted you to know why I've been a little MIA. 

Thanksgiving

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

These last few months have been a stark reminder about what is truly important--love God and love one another.

I pray that you have a wonderful day with your loved ones.

Mid-performances

Well, 2 down and 1 to go.  I think generally things have gone ok with the program.  We have had some crazy sound issues that have made things a little chaotic--monitors dying mid-program, feedback, and the like, but overall, not terrible.  The students have enjoyed themselves and I'm feeling good about things.  My adrenaline has been in overdrive and it seems like I can't turn it off.  I constantly feel nervous and that is not good at all.  Today I'm going to try to relax as much as possible before heading back to work tomorrow afternoon.  Please continue to pray.

We may have 1-2 students coming to stay with us over Thanksgiving since they are not able to go home.  They both do not have cars and live too far away to get home for back to back holidays.  I need to clean up since I've been very slack lately with everything going on at work.

Well, I'm going to try to make the most out of my weekend--have a good one everybody!

Thanksgiving Priorities

Next week this time I'll be in a Tryptophan coma and napping on the couch. I can't wait. It's hard to believe its almost Thanksgiving, again... and like the Avery family, the Bostics are going to spend our Thanksgiving at home.

I know seven week-old Walter won't remember any of it, and it won't matter to him if we pack up his things and whisk him off to Winston-Salem or the coast. Its two hours to either family, so its not even a long drive. It won't matter to Walter, but it matters to us.

I don't know if the economy plays a role or if its just a product of having a family of our own, but our values have changed. My values have changed. I was the guy who took off to Vegas with one day's notice or would drive to the coast at the drop of a hat. If I saw something I wanted, I bought it... never thinking twice. I ate out sometimes two or three times a day. It was only money after-all.

Its all gone. Sure there are memories and pictures and expanded waistlines. But other than a bit of debt, we really have nothing to show for those “good” times.

Except, as my wife would quickly remind me, a “house full of junk”.

No we're not broke, we are very blessed. But as the money didn't matter then, it doesn't really matter now. The value was never in the things, it was in each other. Instinctively I knew that... maybe I just worked too much to appreciate it long term. Its amazing how quickly your perspective can change when you meet your first child. The latest gizmo or gadget is replaced by thoughts of braces, birthdays and tuition... and memories I can't wait to share.

So even though we are both suffering from cabin fever and ready to escape the “house full of junk”, Melanie and I can't think of anywhere we'd rather spend Thanksgiving. This is our chance to start traditions of our own, for a family of our own... and that's worth all the money in the world.

A week before Thanksgiving I realize that I have never been richer than I am today. I'm not going to waste it anymore.

...

This is my first guest post at Seriously. Hopefully Amanda won't kick me out and I can do it again sometime. I normally write about politics, but I'm honored to have this opportunity to blog about something else. As a new, first-time father, there's a lot on my mind. As one of Amanda's oldest friends, I just hope I don't mess things up.

Glorious Day

Tonight is the first night of my program.

I'm nervous a scared mess.

How's that for transparency???

Please pray. . .

It has been a hard few days dealing with the devil and his attempts to steal my joy.  Please pray.

Coming soon. . .

After reading a few friends' blogs, I decided to ask one of my oldest friends to guest blog for me.  Jason and I grew up together in Jacksonville, NC.  We went to the same pre-school (seems like I recall a ponytail pulling incident. . .), became pals in middle school while sharing secrets about out mutual friends, and made it through crazy high school relationships and events, college (sadly, the guy went to NC State), engagements, weddings, and now babies together.  He and his super cute wife, Melanie, have recently welcomed their first baby and I'm so delighted for them!

Jason is one of those friends you count on one hand.  I am so fortunate to have him in my world and I look forward to what he has to say!

I hope you will check back soon for his blog!

Stuffed Like a Turkey

That is how I feel in anticipation of this holiday season!  Break out the turkey, mashed potatoes, gravy, stuffing, mac and cheese, carb-explosion!  I am pouring over cooking shows and recipes.  I am salivating at the anticipation of the feasts I will be enjoying and already feeling the burn from my guaranteed "I will work out this year!" New Year's resolution.  I look forward to the naps post-facial stuffing and the delight of sharing the holiday with the ones I love.

This year we have made some command decisions--primarily we are staying put this holiday season.  Every year we load up and meet my family elsewhere--Jacksonville, Delaware, etc.  It's such a chaotic time--loading up the car, riding all day when I really just want to be laying around with my kids--and then only to arrive as desserts are being served.  Bleck.

So, this Thanksgiving we will join the Averys at the fire station in Chocowinity and then--go home.

Christmas Day this year we will be HOME.  We have invited everyone to dinner, but my children will get to have Christmas Day at their house this year.  They will not have to shove Santa's treats in a corner and quickly jump in the car.  They will not have to spend the day in the car with no restaurants open, no clean bathrooms, and no way to play with their new things.

No, no, no--not this year.

My children will wake up in their beds, open presents, eat a delightful breakfast, play with their treats, TAKE A NAP, help decorate for company, and welcome everyone to our home this year.

And I wouldn't have it any other way! :)

O Happy Day!

Last night we celebrated the men and women of our church that volunteer in our different ministries.  It was awesome to have an opportunity to thank all of the people who serve week to week in order to show Jesus to our church family and friends.  Yea for church volunteers!

Now for the shameless plug:  If you are not currently involved in your church, find a way to help out!  Someone has to keep the nursery, teach Sunday School, greet new people, pass out bulletins, make phone calls, tend flower beds, sing/lead worship, run the sound board, cook cookies for our visitors (yes, really!)  My point is that there are many jobs that people fail to notice because they think church is about the preacher.  There is always something to do for anyone and everyone.  You can do it!


Today is my last free day before my program next weekend at MACU.  I have to complete the powerpoint (which hopefully will quickly go into Propresenter), complete the bulletin, and finalize my staging.  Whew!  A lot to do, but I'm ready to get it all behind me.  :)  It will be a busy weekend, but I'm looking forward to it.

This cloudy and wet weather has really increased my desire for Christmas decor.  I already have my tree up, but I may take a few more items out of the attic today to continue the decor.  I want to enjoy my house during Thanksgiving break and not feel like I have to rush the holiday at all.  I want to bake, snuggle with my family, and relax a little.  :)

Happy weekend! :)

Aches and pains

I am a puddle of tears right this minute.  As I mentioned a few blogs back some friends of ours have recently lost their newborn son.  While we are not extremely close with the parents, we are very friendly with the mom's sisters, their parents, and I work with the paternal grandfather at MACU.  I opened my email this morning and read his reflections about the loss of his grandson.

My heart is breaking because of his comments--that his pain is much more than a loss of a grandchild, it is the loss of dreams, future memories, but trusting the promise and belief that despite the fact we want these individuals we love back so badly we can't breathe, we would never want them to return from the comfort of Heaven. 


Having children made me a crazy person.  Seriously.

I never obsessed over things like death and protecting my children until I had them.  I lived every day as if I had a million more to go and it really didn't occur to me that every moment was precious until the doctor handed me my baby girls.  The fear of dying and leaving them alone, or even worse, them dying and I would be left holding nothing made me literally insane (and I had the meds and diagnosis to prove it!)  I remember sobbing for hours at the FEAR of something like that happening to me.

I used to say I was afraid of tornados, spiders, and the dark.  Now I add something happening to me or my kids.  In fact, this is why I have the hardest time speaking to parents after the death of their children because they personify my biggest fears.  And if I let myself dwell on it too long I know that I could really go back to that dark, dark place I was in when Molly was small.  When I grabbed onto everything that wasn't holy, making my child and my life my two most important idols, and shut EVERYONE out.

In our small group we talked about the fear of death.  Of course, as Christians we do not fear the afterlife because we believe we'll join Jesus and live forever.  However, as easy as it is to say those words, there is always a small voice that says, "Yes, but who will take care of you children?"  "What if your children are the ones who are taken?"  "What if you're wrong?  What if there isn't a Heaven?"

Get thee behind me, Satan.


I'm going to choose to believe that I am right.  I'm going to choose to believe that my God wants something better for me and my family and my friends, and that we will be joined forever in His home.  I'm going to choose that my God only wants good for me, and while I do not understand what in the WORLD is going on, I will remind myself that He is in control.

I will indulge. . .

in the simplest of pleasures.

I will smile when I hear Christmas music played on piano and guitar, violin, or cello.  I may even cry.

I will stare at the sun rise as I travel on the bridge over the sound on my way to work.  I will gasp as the sky turns everything orange and how the water looks like glass.

I will adore my little girl with crooked ponytails and crossed eyes because she likes to wear princess dresses, high heels, and a crown 8 days a week.

I will admire the way the Christmas tree casts a soft glow in the room.

I will love the look of winter--bare trees, frost, and maybe, just maybe a hint of a snow forecast.

I will drink warm teas and ciders and smell the warmth.  You know what I mean.

I will snuggle under flannel sheets and take time to wake my body from head to toe.

I will breathe the aroma of a home cooked meal.

I will listen in delight as my little girl reads to me from her favorite stories--amazed by her sudden ability to just read without any prompting from me.

I will delight in my stinky Ewok looking dog because he always greets me with his toy.

I will look forward to the cold winter--knowing I can lay in front of the fireplace.

I will put sparkly toe nail polish on because it makes me feel glam and girl all at once.

I will be ever so thankful for a husband like Christacular, my lerve.

I will sing as loud as I can with all of my might.  Because I CAN.

I will enjoy good movies.

I will deeply smell my Satsuma body gel from The Body Shop (not to be confused with the whore store the one that sells nice skin and facial care items, candles, scents, and lotions)

I will love holiday food.  Oh yes I will.

I will smile at old people, wave at babies, and wink at children.

I will give thanks for another day.

Days Like These

Make me stop and stare at my children.  

Prayers Please

UPDATE:  Baby Luke went to Heaven just before midnight.  Please continue to be in prayer for the Woolard family. 

Please be in prayer for the Woolard twins.  They were born at 28 weeks (Luke and Macey) and are at PCMH.  I just got an email from Paul that the boy was not doing well.

Please, please, please pray.  The parents, Eric and Kelly, have suffered through years of infertility and these babies are an answer to many, many prayers.

Please pray for strength and courage.  Please pray for the family.  Please pray for the hospital staff.

Please pray for sweet Luke.

Encouragement

I have some really great students.  I adore all of my students, but I have a special few that are so wise and strong.  They are going to be great leaders in the church one day--and I'm so blessed to know them.  They make me laugh, smile, and are positive people to be around.

I have the Queen who is just awesome.  She is so good to me and is a mentor and friend.  I'm so blessed.

For the first time in a long time I have some really good girlfriends.  Ones I can call and chat with about everything and nothing.  We laugh and cry together and I love them.  I'm so blessed.

I have a supportive husband, Christacular, my lerve.  He is a strong man to put up with my whims and bull-headedness.  He loves me despite my imperfections.  I'm so blessed.

I have two kids that I adore--they are insane, crazy, and hilarious and I love them to pieces.  I'm so blessed.

I have a great job that allows me to do it all--wife, mom, teacher, student, worship, and love.  I'm so blessed.

I am so blessed.

Do you see what I see. . .

I see a pre-lit tree and ornament boxes in my living room. . .

Thursday

This week has flown by!  I can't believe it's already Thursday!  WOW!

I have contracted the MACU cold and have been popping the cold meds like candy.  This morning I went back to sleep after getting Molly off to school and slept in until about 9 or so.  It felt great, but I really didn't want to waste those precious few hours   who am I kidding??  It felt GREAT!

I'm ready to break out the Christmas tree.  I'm seriously considering it tonight while watching Pirate football.  What a great treat!  It's combining the best of both worlds!  We shall see, I'm not 100% convinced, but it's something I'm chewing on.

I've been dealing with my students and their lack of taking responsibility for themselves.  Quite honestly, at times I feel like I'm working with some middle school students--hormones, emotional roller coasters, more interested in their social lives then say, homework, studying, etc.  It has become a little ridiculous, and it seems that every time I ask for something, a few of them always have an excuse OR blame it one someone or something else.  Crazy.

Happy Thursday everyone!  The weekend is coming!!!

New Moon

Oh my goodness I'm so excited. . .

Shoes

Why do we (meaning women primarily) find this need for shoes?

I mean, do we really need a pair to match every outfit?  Can't we settle with one or two--perhaps a black and brown?  Maybe tennis shoes?  Or flip flops if you live around here and it's warm enough most of the year.

Honestly, I think about certain outfits I have and say, "OH!  I don't have _______ shoes.  It just won't look right with the ________ pair.  Perhaps I just won't wear that outfit even though it's really, really what I want to wear."

Or, how many times have we worn terribly uncomfortable shoes to match some stupid dress we've only worn once or twice?

Honestly, I think women constantly need to FILL shoes--even shoes that don't belong to us.

I am currently about 3 weeks away from giving my first program at my new job.

Scared.  Yes.

Feeling pressure?  Yes.

Cold sweats?  At times.

Upset stomach?  Sure.

Trying to fill shoes that aren't mine?  Yes.

You are probably assuming I'm talking about the Queen's shoes.  Sure, I do worry about that.  This lady has a LEGACY of concert programs.  Her performing groups have entertained thousands of churches and places and faces.

I've got a new group, new sound, and new performance style.  Will people like it? Will it sound good?  How will it be received?  What if people hate it?  What if it sounds bad?  What if What if What if???

I'm actually talking about filling the Lord's shoes.  You see, the more and more I try to make my size 7s fit the Lord's shoes, the more and more inadequate I feel about everything.  I try as hard as I can to cram my feet into His holy shoes and make them my own.  I try to steer those shoes into the paths I want to take, and then I get irritated when trying to parade around in His holy shoes only brings me blisters and pain.

I have NO CONTROL over this situation.  Sure, I can prepare my group, I can work my tail off from August to the performance, but at the end of the day, I have NO SAY in what happens on performance night.

I am not the Lord.

I am not in charge.

I am not the one who decides these things.

I can never attempt to fill His shoes.

Do I want things to go well?  Of course I do.

Why do I want things to go well?

Reputation?

Who's reputation?

Mine or the Lord's?

I think often in the ministry the biggest struggle is fighting the need to be known for our deeds.  Of course we say, "We're doing this to bring glory to God."  But, we also know that our deeds often determine our job stability.  How do we look past the need for stability and trust solely on bringing glory to God?  Is that what it means, relying solely on HIM to take care of us?  Good and bad?  Job or no job?

Lord, please let the desire of my heart be the desire to serve You and bring glory to only Your name. I know my feet will never fill Your shoes, so Lord, let me just put my feet on top of yours like a toddler and let you lead me where I need to go.