Why do we (meaning women primarily) find this need for shoes?
I mean, do we really need a pair to match every outfit? Can't we settle with one or two--perhaps a black and brown? Maybe tennis shoes? Or flip flops if you live around here and it's warm enough most of the year.
Honestly, I think about certain outfits I have and say, "OH! I don't have _______ shoes. It just won't look right with the ________ pair. Perhaps I just won't wear that outfit even though it's really, really what I want to wear."
Or, how many times have we worn terribly uncomfortable shoes to match some stupid dress we've only worn once or twice?
Honestly, I think women constantly need to FILL shoes--even shoes that don't belong to us.
I am currently about 3 weeks away from giving my first program at my new job.
Feeling pressure? Yes.
Cold sweats? At times.
Upset stomach? Sure.
Trying to fill shoes that aren't mine? Yes.
You are probably assuming I'm talking about the Queen's shoes. Sure, I do worry about that. This lady has a LEGACY of concert programs. Her performing groups have entertained thousands of churches and places and faces.
I've got a new group, new sound, and new performance style. Will people like it? Will it sound good? How will it be received? What if people hate it? What if it sounds bad? What if What if What if???
I'm actually talking about filling the Lord's shoes. You see, the more and more I try to make my size 7s fit the Lord's shoes, the more and more inadequate I feel about everything. I try as hard as I can to cram my feet into His holy shoes and make them my own. I try to steer those shoes into the paths I want to take, and then I get irritated when trying to parade around in His holy shoes only brings me blisters and pain.
I have NO CONTROL over this situation. Sure, I can prepare my group, I can work my tail off from August to the performance, but at the end of the day, I have NO SAY in what happens on performance night.
I am not the Lord.
I am not in charge.
I am not the one who decides these things.
I can never attempt to fill His shoes.
Do I want things to go well? Of course I do.
Why do I want things to go well?
Mine or the Lord's?
I think often in the ministry the biggest struggle is fighting the need to be known for our deeds. Of course we say, "We're doing this to bring glory to God." But, we also know that our deeds often determine our job stability. How do we look past the need for stability and trust solely on bringing glory to God? Is that what it means, relying solely on HIM to take care of us? Good and bad? Job or no job?
Lord, please let the desire of my heart be the desire to serve You and bring glory to only Your name. I know my feet will never fill Your shoes, so Lord, let me just put my feet on top of yours like a toddler and let you lead me where I need to go.