These are the days. . .

that you'll remember when May is rushing over you. . .

Oh, sweet, sweet May--come quickly!

I have so many things to complete--and then BAM I'll be done.

I am ready to get this tour on the road.  I hate doing something like this for the first time--not knowing what to expect, feeling like I make split decisions based off gut-reactions and not experience.  I have had a lot of help, but I have a lot of ideas how to make things better next go around.  After I have one under my belt I'll feel a lot better.  The Queen cheered me up today with some very funny stories about her tours. She's so awesome.

I have got to buckle down and do this graduate project.  EEK!

80s for the next week--GLORY TO GOD!

Thoughts on Tuesday

1.  I'm ready to get this tour on the road.
2.  I'm ready for graduate school to be D-O-N-E
3.  I like spring.
4.  I am enjoying the flowers in my yard and around the city.
5.  I like the Avery Hot Tub Club
6.  I am really overwhelmed with responsibilities these days.  Whew.
7.  Singing is fun.
8.  I still like my students and my job--remarkable. I've NEVER been able to say that with 100% conviction.
9.  I miss being less than 30 minutes from the ocean.  Even though I really don't care to get in the water or get sandy soggy bottom.  It's nice and relaxing though.
10.  I am thinking of Texas and visiting Waco 9/30-10/2. Who's with me?!?!
11.  Worship is fun.
12.  Buster stinks.  Bad.
13.  Lily likes getting in the hot tub.  Major accomplishment.
14.  I need a maid.  Or a day off to clean.
15.  I like the Hulk and I can't wait to ride it in t-minus 2 weeks from TODAY!
 

You Know What's Great?

1.  This weather:  70s and sunny
2.  The Office, 30 Rock, and The Marriage Ref on Thursday nights with my lerve
3.  My pink skull and crossbones guitar strap
4.  My noonish conversations with my students
5.  Summer is coming
6.  Adirondack chairs
7.  Open sunroof on the Honda
8.  Flip Flops
9.  The Doobie Brothers
10.  Sonic Cream Slushies

Life is pretty good.

Check it off!!!!

Gospel Rally Thursday and Friday  (night away from home)
Pre tour Info. in the mail by tomorrow to our hosting churches 
Guitar lessons every  Thursday
Video Class performing and load for web class
Video myself teaching and load for web class
Work on independent study activities for diversity class
Performance in Elizabeth City (night away from home)
Performance in Chesapeake (night away from home)
Tour (one entire week away from home)
Take Molly's St. Patrick's Day Green snack to school  
Submit thesis plan to committee by MONDAY with annotated bibliography  
Find place to spend the night the 3 nights I'm in EC the next 3 weeks 
Run programs for tour locations (in progress)
Put CCLI info. on tour slides

Tour!

Please pray for the MACU Praise Team as we begin tour season.  These students have worked very hard and considering the fact that this was an unauditioned group, I'm very pleased with their progress this year.  Please pray for safe travels, that nothing hinders our programs, and that our hearts and the hearts of the congregations are in the right place to hear the message of Jesus.  


I've grown to love my students this year--they provide comic relief when I'm about to explode, cry with me when I've got too much on my heart, and pray with me about any and everything.  


I have the best job.  Ever. 


So, tonight is our first tour performance at a local church.  I'm a little nervous because I want them to do well.  Tim talked this past Sunday about pride and I totally admit that that is a HUGE issue for me.  I want to be known for doing things well and I want people to like me.  When I get nervous or upset about something it usually means that I've got the wrong focus.  It usually is something like, "What if I'm not good enough?  What if I earn a poor reputation?  What if they hate me?  What if they hate (insert performance)?"


I, I, I.  They, They, They.  UGH!  


So, my prayer throughout this is that God will be glorified.  I am praying for opportunities to minister to people, to spread the love of Christ through song, and for my students to represent the Kingdom well.  At the end of the day it's really not about anything else. 


Yes, I want the students to represent the school well. 
Yes, I want them to perform well. 
Yes, I want people to think that I'm good enough. 


But, it's not about me and my selfish desires.  

John 3:30:  He must become greater; I must become less.

We can be very judgmental at times, especially in the ministry.  We want to exude confidence and competence and we love to point fingers of blame at anyone else.  We love to complain and critique.  How many times have we sat in church and instead of appreciating the message or the music spent more time wincing in agony because someone cracked a note?  Or, when we sing or speak in church we spend more time worrying about what the people thought about our missed notes or stuttered words. 

Anyone, anyone?  

I do it all the time.  Shame, shame, SHAME on me. 

I must learn that I am not here to please men.  Yes, I will do my best for my earthly masters and I will take my tasks seriously.  

But, I do not need their praises or pats on the backs for my recognition will be the ability to be with Christ for eternity.  

To know that I am His child will be enough.  

Dear Students

Do not discouraged.

You can do it.

Apply yourselves, take the time to study, and pray.

I like

Mike Rowe.

Gospel Rally & Updated To-Do

I apologize for the lack of cute updates on life around the Averys lately.  'Tis the season of insanity around here these days and will remain until I return from tour mid-April.  


Here is the updated to-do list as of 9:45am:


Gospel Rally Thursday and Friday  (night away from home)
Pre tour Info. in the mail by tomorrow to our hosting churches 
Guitar lessons every  Thursday
Video Class performing and load for web class
Video myself teaching and load for web class
Work on independent study activities for diversity class
Performance in Elizabeth City (night away from home)
Performance in Chesapeake (night away from home)
Tour (one entire week away from home)
Take Molly's St. Patrick's Day Green snack to school  
Submit thesis plan to committee by MONDAY with annotated bibliography  
Find place to spend the night the 3 nights I'm in EC the next 3 weeks 
Run programs for tour locations
Put CCLI info. on tour slides


Gospel Rally has come and gone.  I think Arron Chambers is one of the best speakers I've heard in a while.  Yea for the Whites and a Marty and the Hands for the lunch invite (remember folks, I cannot STRESS the importance of praying before you eat).  Molly had a ball at the YMCA.  I battled spring allergies and mustered my way through the ridiculously high alma mater.  My students performed very well and it was a nice ceremonial moment when the Queen passed the baton to me on Friday morning for the group sing.  I actually got a little teary because of the magnitude of the moment and how gracious she has been to me.  Some people would be a jerk when they handed over the reins, but she has been a gem.  


I did ask her if I could give her a crown and a "retired" sash like the beauty queens would wear but she wouldn't have it. 


Now, I must convince myself to buckle down and complete all of my assignments for graduation in addition to mentally preparing myself for everything that has to occur between now and summer.  


HAPPY BIRTHDAY JASON BOSTIC!!!!!!!!!!

Dear Professor So and So

I am a "tell me exactly what you want me to do and I will do it" sort of student.  


Please don't be vague in your expectations and expect me to pull the magic answer out of the air.


 Additionally, don't tell me that you changed your mind and want something else after I've already been busting my tail trying to please you.

I am a good student, I am a good student, I am a good student.

OHHHHH GRADUATION COME QUICKLY!!!!!!!!!!

I Have a Good Husband

Christacular.

My lerve.

Is a good man.

I feel like a downer these days

But I'm really overwhelmed with work, school, life in general.

Daylight savings time really wrecked my system.  I'm falling asleep and I wake up tired.

This week  month is going to be less than fun in regards to deadlines.

Yes, a lot of fun things are happening.

But I am so tired.

Daylight StealsYourTime

Up early for church today--came home and felt very heavy eyes.  I decided just to "rest my eyes" and woke up 46 minutes later!  It was much needed and I feel very refreshed.  I have a lot of stuff to do before tomorrow, but I think it will be ok.  


It has to be ok, so there is no use worrying about it, right?!?!


As you can see I have marked some more items off of my to-do list.  I haven't included other things like "submit capstone" or "take orals"  or "MACU bacc/commencement."  This list is long enough and I'll have plenty of time to do that. . .
As of Sunday 4:09pm:


Gospel Rally Thursday and Friday  (night away from home)
Pre tour Info. in the mail by tomorrow to our hosting churches 
Guitar lessons every Tuesday or Thursday
Video Class performing and load for web class
Video myself teaching and load for web class
Work on independent study activities for diversity class
Performance in Elizabeth City (night away from home)
Performance in Chesapeake (night away from home)
Tour (one entire week away from home)
Take Molly's St. Patrick's Day Green snack to school  
Submit thesis plan to committee by MONDAY with annotated bibliography  
Find place to spend the night the 3 nights I'm in EC the next 3 weeks 

Here We Go! Here We Go AGAIN! (updated and slightly longer)

Gospel Rally next Thursday and Friday (which means a night away from home)
Pre tour Info. in the mail by tomorrow to our hosting churches  Emailed all hosting churches with info letter, requested mailing addresses, added one more performance to the tour thus will have posters printed and mailed early next week
Guitar lesson every Tuesday or Thursday
Video Class performing and load for web class
Video myself teaching and load for web class
Work on independent study activities for diversity class
Performance in Elizabeth City (night away from home)
Performance in Chesapeake (night away from home)
Tour (one entire week away from home)
Take Molly's St. Patrick's Day Green snack to school  Ordered green popcorn from Pirate Popcorn for Tuesday AM pick up, purchased green cups and "Kiss Me, I'm Irish" napkins from Target
Submit thesis plan to committee by MONDAY with annotated bibliography 
Find place to spend the night the 3 nights I'm in EC the next 3 weeks Yea for good old CCF/University CoC friends now living in the EC area! :)  Brandi (Ludford) Jordan is awesome!


Wow.  


I want to say something positive.  


I am SUPER EXCITED about a class I'm formulating for next fall/spring.  I can't go into specifics quite yet, but I have a good feeling about it.  I also am adoring my worship minor students (and other ones, too) more and more everyday.  They make me laugh, they are fun to be around, and I can't wait to see what incredible things they are going to do for the church.  Watch out, world--MACU is putting out some good folks these days!

It's all fun and games. . .

Until Mom gets pooped on.

Gross.

Here We Go! Here We Go AGAIN!

What has to occur in the next month:

Gospel Rally next Thursday and Friday (which means a night away from home)
Pre tour Info. in the mail by tomorrow to our hosting churches
Guitar lesson every Tuesday or Thursday
Video Class performing and load for web class
Video myself teaching and load for web class
Work on independent study activities for diversity class
Performance in Elizabeth City (night away from home)
Performance in Chesapeake (night away from home)
Tour (one entire week away from home)
Take Molly's St. Patrick's Day Green snack to school (once I figure out what exactly it will be--individually wrapped, healthy, and green--and not expensive!)

These are just my school and work obligations.  I won't even get into the weekly things that have to occur around the house and church.

I am feeling slightly stressed.  I have a lot of stuff to do and a lot of nights I will have to be away from home.  I hate being away for a night--I'm really dreading being away 10 days in the next month.  I know it's not all the time, but I really hate it.  It makes it difficult on Chris and keeping up with all of the stuff that occurs with Molly in school, the house, and church.  It's hard to balance it all by yourself--hats off to you single parents out there!

I also just really, really, really miss my family when I'm gone.

I also have a tendency to worry--what if something happens to them while I'm gone?  What if something happens to me while I'm gone?

I hate that feeling.  It's not like I have control over it--something could just as easily happen to me while I'm driving around town, but it still stresses me out.  I vacillate between feeling ok and feeling not ok.

Please pray for safety for all, peace of mind, and the good opportunity our students have to share the gospel.

Comments

Dear Anonymous Reader Whose Comment I Deleted:

Welcome to my blog.

Yes, you read that correctly.

MY blog.

What I choose to write about is MY business and MY life.

I strive to always be honest, transparent, and candid in my blog entries.

Sometimes people like what I say, sometimes not.

It doesn't really matter--because this blog is my blog.

MY blog.

If you don't like it, THEN DON'T READ IT.

It's really not that hard.

In the meantime, I would appreciate it greatly if you would not be a coward and hide behind the anonymous name tag.

I have no problems talking to people who disagree with me or want to challenge my opinions.

At least be man or woman enough to put your name on your comments.

Thank you very much.

A+

Sometimes as a teacher you wonder if your students recognize that you are a human being and that you are not supposed to be at their beck and call 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.  You get annoyed that they completely expect you to drop everything for their "emergency" (i.e. they didn't do their 18 pages of homework that was due last month and want an extension so they can not have a failing midterm grade or something crazy like that.  Of course MY students would NEVER try that craziness with me!)  You wonder if they recognize you as a real person with a family, needs, stresses, life, children or just view you as sort of this Dr./Mr./Mrs. So and So who materializes long enough to teach them a lesson, assign homework, give a test, and then disappear into the dungeon we came out of.

It can be discouraging.

Unless you have awesome students like mine.  

Today I found a card slipped under my office door with a very, very kind note (AND an Applebee's giftcard!  YUM!) from an anonymous student.  It totally made my day and I really appreciated the thoughtfulness.  This student encouraged me, and while I wish I knew who she was (only because she signed it as a "sister in Christ"), I also liked the fact that she didn't need/want acknowledgement for her kindness.  What a genuine soul!

So, sweet student, whoever you are, thank you, thank you, thank you!  You have no idea what an encouragement that was to me this morning.  :)

Whispering

Do you ever get the feeling that God is whispering something in your ear?

So faintly that when you stop and listen you can't really make out the words, but you know something is stirring in your soul.

There are moments lately I wonder, What are You trying to tell me?

I'm straining my ears--wondering why these thoughts stir in my heart--wondering if these are kingdom minded thoughts--wondering if my intuition is telling me something or if I'm jumping to conclusions.

Sometimes I shout in my head, "WHAT???  What is it?!?!" as if I expect Him to shout it out from Heaven.

Foolishness.

I can't put my finger on it, but I have a feeling things are preparing for a season of change.

Sometimes I don't even like to write or think it because what if it's something scary? Bad?  Awful?

But then again what if it's something great?  Incredible?  Fantastic?

I don't know.

But I have that feeling.

All I'm Gonna Say Is . . .

Jill Hollis is going to have one good hurrah. . .

Thanks for the prayers. :)

Rough.

Warning:  Long Post, but please read and pray with me.

About a year ago, I wrote this entry:  

For those of you who do not have the pleasure of knowing my friend, Jill--I really feel badly that you're missing out.  Jill is probably the most incredible person I've ever met, and I can honestly say that my world is a better place because she is here.  I normally do not let people affect me too much--at least personally.  It takes a lot for me to let you into my world--of course that sounds a little odd being that I blog and random people can see my daily musings.  I think the buffer of the internet keeps me from worrying too much--and that I can't see people's faces, so I don't ever have a good idea of what they think.  

Digressing...

Anyhow, I've only known Jill for a few years.  She and I became acquainted through a small group we were a part of.  I actually didn't know what to think about Jill when I first got to meet her.  I was so ignorant of her battle with ALS, and I didn't know what she was facing.  I knew it was serious, but not how serious.  I always admired Jill from a distance.  She has such an incredible strength, that even when she admits to being afraid, she's still incredibly tough.  Her ability to look in the face of death and not lose all self-control astounds me.  

Recently I've been going through an interesting (precarious) situation (this was during my MACU interview) and Jill has been there every step of the way ("stalking" as she calls it).  Her encouragement and her prayers have put so many of my doubts and fears in check.  How can I be so worried about trivial details when she has serious life and death concerns?  How can I be so stupid to worry about a cut into my family time a few afternoons a week when she has to say goodbye to hers for good?  How can I be so vain about my almost-30 body, when she relies on a super-powered chair to get around?  It's like a slap in the face when I think about how ridiculous I am sometimes when Jill is dealing with much more serious concerns.  

And to make it worse (better?) Jill WANTS to share my burdens.  She has enough worries for 10 people, and she wants to share in my worries.  Who does that?  How many people in this world seriously look past their own noses and take on part of your burdens?  Most of us can probably think of a small handful.  

Today was the ALS Walk in Greenville.  It was so nice to see so many people from our church family come to support Jill by walking.  

I had mixed emotions leading into the walk.  On one hand, I would walk to California and back if I knew it would bring a cure for this terrible disease.  Knowing what this disease is doing and will do to Jill breaks my heart weekly as I see her progress.  However, I wasn't sure if I would have the strength to make it through without breaking down in tears at the the awareness of what this walk represented.  Of course it's a day of celebrating those who are courageous in their fight, but it also reminds me that unless God decides to provide her with a cure, one day we'll be walking in memory of Jill.  

I wasn't sure if I could deal with the magnitude of that realization.

Last night as I was trying to decide what I wanted to put on the poster board signs for the girls' wagon, I reread through most of her blog.  I wanted to find something that was just right--and personal--from me to Jill in the event that I didn't or couldn't talk to her at the walk (for Jill is quite the celebrity), she would know what I meant.  I didn't see anything that quite fit my idea of what I wanted, so I finally decided on this:

Because Jill is beautiful.  

She is a lovely woman, and yes, this disease has altered her body, and will continue to alter her body until Jesus provides her with a new one.  But, Jill is more than outwardly beautiful.  She represents the Love lavished upon us by our Heavenly Father.  She deals with ALS with dignity (even when she's sad and angry), and she continues to look for ways to help others know about her faith.  She loves people in a way that most cannot.  She fails to let her body stop her from being a part of our lives.  

When I see Jill, I see Christ.  

She exudes Him. 

She loves Him and it is evident that He loves her.  

He has allowed her to hold onto this tremendous burden, and yet she continues to live her life for Him.  She has used this sickness as a means to share her story with others.  He trusts her to not be overcome by this battle because He knows she can handle it.  God has promised to never give us more than we can endure--so He must have great faith in His servant to allow her to suffer so.    

When I see Jill, I only see light.  A heavenly light.  She holds a brightness that can only come from God.  

I love the movie The Village.  There is a scene in the movie in which the blind girl shares how she sees people as colors.  I love that imagery.  

When I see Jill, I see white.  I see her pureness. . .her openness. . .her ability to take this incredible struggle and WIN.  

And make no mistake--SHE WILL WIN.  

She is already winning.  

Satan cannot touch her heart because she has trusted it with the One who died for her.    

I know, one day, Jill's body (but not her spirit) is going to be overcome.  

She will join Jesus and I also know that one day I will be able to sit next to her at the Heavenly vanity area and we'll chat.  

But, in the in-between I want to soak her up because she has helped me in more ways then she will ever know because I know I will never be able to tell her without having a huge, ugly, moment with a lot of snot and tears.  

But, Jill, I love you so.  You have no idea how much I admire you and Cliff and how my heart breaks for the two of you, as well as for the rest of us who love you two.  

Your life has encouraged me to be better and not accept myself for face value.  

Thank you for pushing me to move forward.  

Thank you for making me a better person.  

Thank you so much for allowing me to walk beside you for a part of the journey.  

Tomorrow I am going to Jill's to help her talk through and plan her funeral.  


There is something completely peaceful and scary about that.  


Tomorrow is going to be rough.  No doubt.  


However, my prayer is (and I hope you will join me) is that Jill will be remembered and celebrated exactly the way she wants to be remembered, and that I listen to her and God as she plans her last hurrah.  


Please pray for strength to talk about the things we don't want to address, help us to keep the promise of everlasting joy in our minds and our hearts, and the focus to be able to work through this awful task.  


Help us to see that death is temporary and that it won't be long before we all join Jill as she stands, in a perfect body, next to Jesus--ready to welcome us with her grin and open arms.   


Oh me.  

His Eye is on the Sparrow

This morning I woke to water under the kitchen sink.

Thank you, Lord, that my husband was home on vacation this week.  

I have a lot of work to do.

Thank you, Lord, that I have a job that I love. 

I have a lot of homework to do.

Thank you, Lord, for the opportunity to further my education. 

I have a lot of details to attend to for the upcoming tour.

Thank you, Lord, for the opportunity to share Your promise and salvation through song. 

I have a guitar lesson this afternoon that I'm not 100% prepared for.

Thank you, Lord, for fingers that cooperate. 

Tomorrow I'm going to meet with Jill.

Thank you, Lord, for friends that motivate me to be better.

Why should I feel discouraged 

Why should the shadows come 

Why should my heart feel lonely 

And long for heaven and home 

When Jesus is my portion 

A constant friend is he 

His eye is on the sparrow 

And I know he watches over me 

His eye is on the sparrow 

And I know he watches me 

I sing because I'm happy 

I sing because I'm free 

His eye is on the sparrow 

And I know he watches me.

Please Pray

We have too many babies and families that are suffering these days.  Please, please, please pray for this baby.

Susanne and I went to school together.