Mama A Says: You are the meanest person in the world.

Helloooooo my precious darlings!  Long time, no posts from Mama A!  I hope you are enjoying this last little bit of summerlike temps before we settle in for glorious fall!

And we all know which holiday season is right around the corner!!!!  EEEKKK!!!

Tonight's Mama A post is specifically written for the grown folks.  I've grown very weary of some of the grown folks I come into contact with--but there are none worst than the meanest people in the world.

And when some of you speak, it ruffles every. single. imaginary. feather. on. my. body!

Because you can't just speak or state your opinion--you constantly choose to say things in such a way that are hurtful, rude, and unnecessary.  Not only that, people don't even want to be around you because you are so hurtful with your words.  You have no problem complaining when things aren't going your way, your expectations of others are exaggerated and unfair, and you are just a plain ol' sourpuss.

I really think you must have a highly exaggerated self-esteem.  You must think that you've got it all figured out and that the rest of us are just morons.  You are too busy trying to be right that you have stopped hearing how overly critical and rude your voice sounds to the rest of us.

And, we are tired of being judged by you and your ridiculously high standards.  Your standards aren't biblical, it's just the Gospel According to Yo-Self.  And you have no problems preaching to anyone who will listen.

When I look at you I wonder what it must be like to live and create such misery wherever you go.  I wonder if you know what it's like to be happy or at least content.  I can't imagine walking around carrying so much displeasure with the state of affairs.  I would be so unhappy.

Stop being so MEAN!

So, ladies and gents let's check ourselves.  Is Mama A speaking to you?

Answer the following questions:

Do you find yourself constantly in an argument with others?
Do you find yourself constantly complaining about others or situations?
Are you able to take the blame?
Do you live in a bubble?
Do you constantly question why people can never seem to see things your way?

If you answered "yes" to any of those questions--THEN JUST STOP BEING SO DAGGONE MEAN ALL THE TIME!!!

How about instead of wasting your time being mean, focus on the positive.  Try to find at least one nice thing to say before you jam your opinions down someone's throat.  Many people call this a "Compliment Sandwich" aka positive-critical-postive.

For example, this is how to approach a person and share a complaint:

Mama A approved:  Hi, Xavier!  I really loved your colorful shirt on Sunday morning!  It was a great color on you!  By the way, I also enjoyed your talk, but if I could offer a suggestion, I would have remembered to say blah blah instead of bleck bleck.  Again, just my opinion, but I also wanted to say that I really liked your presentation slides--I could tell you worked a while on them.

Mama A will punch you in the face:  Xavier, your talk on Sunday was really dumb.  I can't believe they let you up front to speak.  You certainly looked nervous and I could barely hear a word you were saying.

My friends, this terrible sickness must be cured!  Ephesians 4:29.

And if you keep it up, one of these days you're going to find yourself in a spitting match with someone who is bigger and meaner than you.

And we'll all resist the urge to just sit back and watch.  

Love and smooches, 

Mama A. 

xoxxo

Just put it down. . .

I'm catching up on laundry as Chris is away at his monthly elder's meeting.  I'm thinking about coffee, and autumn, and plans with friends, and other life-giving things I'm looking forward to in the coming weeks. 

I wanted to share a few thoughts that I shared with the women this past weekend at the Girlfriends Unlimited Kickoff.  Nothing new under the sun, but it's a good reminder for all of us--including me. . . 

. . .My thoughts keep coming back to this idea of burden and our tendency as women to be constantly under the daily burdens of life. 

It seems we are repeatedly putting these burdens into our bags and they become so laden with life events.  We are wives, we are mothers, we are sisters and daughters, we are friends, we are co-workers, we are volunteers.  We tend to carry not only our burdens, but the burdens of the ones we love the most as well.  We additionally carry the burdens of work, of finances, of home, of health, of life.  We somehow ignore that God tells us to come and lay those burdens down.  We read in Matthew 11:28-30:  Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."

Isn’t it time for you to set some of those burdens down and let Him carry them for you?  Isn’t it time to stop being so much like Martha and embrace your Mary?  It’s time to get out of the kitchen of life and just sit down with the Master and really listen to what He has to say?  Are you so busy trying to keep it all together that you have stopped listening to what God has planned for you?

I encourage you to remember your primary role.  While being a wife, mother, friend, or a volunteer. . . is all very nice and good, I want to encourage you to remember what you were created to be.  You are the daughter of a King.  Your Heavenly Father is in charge of your kingdom and it’s time to lay some of those extra burdens down.  

But for tonight. . .

This past week has been chaotic and crazy.  In this week alone I have:

• Welcomed some friends back to the country
• Taken Molly to the dentist (alas, not teeth were lost in that adventure)
• Survived my first Curriculum Night at my school. 
• Listened through two days of chorus auditions 
• Prepared for this weekend's Girlfriends Kickoff
• Worked and dealt with regular daily/weekly needs
• Been observed teaching by my principal
• Led worship with my fabulous family and fellow church bandmates for the Girlfriends' Kickoff event--it was awe to the some!
• Ate until I was sufficiently full at Deadwood
• Church this morning and worked to prep dinner for SNK

All of that has left me rather tired and beat.

But in a very good way.  

My life is good.  I have a lot less on my plate this week.  There will still be laundry and the ever growing to-do list.

But for tonight. . . I shall sit and enjoy some down time.

Happiness is. . .

Chocolate cake.

Surprise birthday parties.

New-ish friends. 

Whirlwind.

These past few days (and the days ahead) in the Avery house have been madness.  Complete and crazy madness.  Dinners with friends, homework, lesson plans, rehearsals, meetings, appointments, a wedding (at the aquarium!), church activities, etc.  Our next week is looking the same way.  I look at my calendar filled with wonderful, great, and even fun things. . .and cringe.

Because all I want is rest.  

Not only do I want to just be able to sit down and stay awhile, I need some rest for my mind and soul.  My routine has been shaken--no more lovely Tuesday and Thursday mornings to sit and read and write and sip and rest.  I'm surrounded by the promise of daily excitement and all I'm really looking for is that quiet moment to myself.  

It's not at all that I regret making this decision to change jobs--I certainly have more time with my family and it is so good to be working with elementary children again.  I really like the people I work with, and I love the crazy morning and afternoon rides with my kids.  I am never lonely in the car anymore. 

But I'm also not alone. 

Sometimes it's hard to find that space to breathe when life is happening all around you.  It's hard to find that margin of sanity.  It's hard to pick and choose which life moments deserve your attention and which ones can wait.  

But I'm doing the best I can.  My plan (after this week) is to try again to say, "No" to things that aren't important and "yes" to those that are life-giving.  "No" to the overcrowded calendar and "yes" to rest and revitalization.  

What about you?  Anyone else in this boat with me???

I Hate Heels.

That is all.


As in footwear, not the team.



I heart Tarheel basketball.



And Pirate football.


The End.

10 Years.

Ten years ago I was walking down the hallway at Jacksonville Commons Elementary School.  It was my very first month of teaching.  It was a beautiful day.

One of the PE teachers was walking with me down the hall and told me there had been some plane crashes and bomb or something at the Pentagon.

Time stood still as her words sunk in.

"A bomb or something at the Pentagon."

I remember stopping and looking at her and saying, "Dan works at the Pentagon."

Dan.  My uncle.  

Her eyes grew as big as saucers.    

I quickly ran to the telephone in my office (yes, I was so spoiled back then with an office) and called my mom as a 3rd grade class filed into my room.  I quickly told my mom what was happening and asked her to get up with my aunt.  

I remember walking back into the room and looking at the students.  Their faces.  They were so young and had no idea that the world was changing right outside of their classrooms.  They had no idea that the next day so many of their parents (as we were in a military town) would be put on alert or shipped out to assist in the cleanup, rescue, or protect the different military interests.  They had no idea that when we left the school that afternoon that policemen would be outside on guard as they loaded into their cars and buses.  

How do you tell children that their world isn't safe?  How do you tell them that bad things can happen to good people?  How do you tell them what's going on when you really have no idea?  

How do you hold it together?  

I remember finding out that Dan was ok.  I remember crying and being so overwhelmed with relief and gratitude and sadness for so many others who would not be as fortunate.  

Chris came by my school at the end of the day.  We were dating at the time and we went to my house after school to watch the news.  We watched and watched and watched.  

This was my generation's Pearl Harbor or JFK assassination.  

The next day we did the same thing.  The same terrible images.  The same terrible numbers of deaths and missing.  Each day I would watch hoping for good news.  That they had caught the person responsible.  That it wasn't as bad as it seemed.  That we weren't as vulnerable.  That we weren't in danger anymore.    

That life was happy and we were safe because we were Americans. 

I wanted normal back.  

There is a new normal now. With background checks, heightened security, and scrolling news on the bottom of the screen.  Life has resumed, but we will never be the same. 

Thank you to those who have served, and to those who continue to serve our country.  We deeply appreciate your sacrifices for our country and our freedom. 

I will never forget.  

My Superwoman Cape is Wrinkly.

And sometimes it hangs a little crooked.

When I'm looking for the gentle breeze to flow behind me, sometimes a gushing wind accidentally blows my cape up over my head.

It might be slightly stained by life events and activities.

The other day I noticed that it had faded just a smidge.  It's only to be expected when one flies so close to the sun.

It might not be the newest model, but those things are so expensive!

Sometimes my Superwoman body doesn't respond quite like it used to.  I wonder if Clark Kent ever woke up and had tired bones?

And sometimes I really doubt the reliability of the Superwoman Weight Loss Plan.

But, I'm doing the best I can:

Truth, justice, and the wifemommyfriendteacherhousekeepermusiciancooklaundryandkeeperofallthingsscheduled way.  

And it's just going to have to do.  

And I'm going to be the very best that I can be.  

Because the rest of that stuff that I beat myself up with is kryptonite to my soul and well-being.   

Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you'll recover your life. I'll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won't lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you'll learn to live freely and lightly.   Matthew 11:28-30 The Message

 

I'm Still Alive. . . and Guest Posting!

This week has been sheer insanity!  My poor old lady body is not used to this whole working every single day thing after a nice long summer vacation!  I've been falling asleep on the couch each night this week somewhere around 8:30pm.  WHEW!

But, I'm guest posting over at Caroline's today as she's making the big move from South Africa back to good ol' NC.

Tomorrow's Friday, the Pirates are playing this weekend, and it looks like fall is right around the corner (which, of course, means that holiday madness is upon us!   HIP HIP!!!)

Happy late Thursday (almost Friday) ya'll!  

Low.

I am caught up in a world of chaos.  

Literally.  My neighborhood, my town, my working town, my family, my friends are in a state of cleaning up and putting back together what Irene tore apart.  14 or more hours of wind and rain and saturation will destroy crops and roofs and homes. It will make the rivers rise and steal what was precious on the shore back out to the rivers and leaving those in its wake speechless.  

Mentally.  My schedule has taken a beating.  There is no schedule.  There is no routine.  I'm greeting each day in a sense of panic because I don't know what to expect. 

And I have to know what to expect.  

I was wired that way, you know. 

I am tired.  

Tired of the sadness and hopelessness around me.  Tired of the mess and debris and the heartbroken community.  I'm tired of my house smelling like a hurricane rolled through a week ago.  

I am tired from the roller coaster of emotions this week--August 31 and the great and wonderful and sad and tragic memories it brought to my heart and my eyes.  

I am tired of the day-in and day-out routine that has been taken from me, resulting in less than stellar parenting, less than stellar children's behaviors, and less than stellar meals, overflowing laundry baskets, and not so clean home.  

I am tired from my attempts to keep all the plates perfectly aligned on the poles like a professional circus performer.  

You know the poles.  I'm sure you've got some of your own.  My poles are "clean house" and "fantastic teacher/musician" and "exercise" and "good mom" and "good wife" and "kind friend" and an additional one or two for the ever-growing list of "needs" that need to be plated immediately before they get cold.  

I'm feeling the overwhelming sense of failure before I've tried.  I'm feeling the suffocation of knowing I'm letting others down before I've even started.  I am smiling like a good circus performer, but I'm feeling my facade cracking.  

I know that my responsibilities, my jobs, and my goals are bigger than me.  

And it makes me low.  

But, I'm choosing to let that low feeling remind me that He is bigger.  He is stronger.  He is in control, and He's only giving me what I can handle. 

Thank goodness I'm only holding what's in my hands right this minute.  I can't imagine holding what others around me are going through this morning.  My worries are minute.  

I'm chasing perspective.  

And I'm choosing to put down my other poles and only hold on to "Grace."

His Grace that covers me. 

His Grace that holds me together. 

His Grace that makes me a better person. 

His Grace that makes me the person I was created to be.

I'm so thankful for His Grace.