Saturday, December 3, 2011

Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Days

I had my fair share of them this past week.

I'm not sure if you ever read that book as a child, but it was always one of my favorites.

This week I seemed pressed on every side, in every situation, in every place, with every person I came into contact with.

It's all too interesting that the fires were stoked a little after this post, isn't it?

LIAR, LIAR, PANTS ON FIRE! 
(literally)

But this was one of those weeks--the house could not stay under control (and I can see the finish line for Lily's room--finally).  I was not remembering to do basic routine things that I have been doing for months now.  A lesson this week was a complete mess--despite my planning and preparation (it looked SO GOOD on paper).  The children at work were c-to the-razy and my children are all out of their routines due to the crazy things happening this week.  I was tired, I was emotional, I was a wreck.  Guilty thoughts filled my mind as I realized that I might have to let some folks down--and some of those people were people with opinions I care about.  Life seasons and changes taking their emotional toil on my mind and heart and prayers.  Simple conversations with people were taken the WRONG way.  Details and planning were taken out of my control and I had to "wing" several things at the last minute.  The change in weather was causing terrific headaches. 

I've felt on edge all week, waiting for the next hammer to pound my guts on the table.  

And then I lost my keys yesterday morning when it was time to leave. 

And a 10 minute search didn't make them appear. 

And then my windows were all frosty when we were already running late. 

And then, when I finally backed out of the driveway, I accidentally hit the windshield sprayer instead of the wipers and instantly froze my windshield. 

Again. 

Curse you, 27 degrees.  If you had been here all along instead of leaving us with your sister, 72 degrees, I would have known to expect your frosty evidence on my windshield. 

And that is when Amanda commenced crying on the way to work on Friday morning. 

It had nothing to do with work. 
It had nothing to do with home. 
It had nothing to do with schedules. 
It had everything to do with life. 

But it was just all too, too, too much and I had had ENOUGH of it all. 

My girls were strangely quiet in the backseat of the car.  I'm sure they were unsure as to why mommy was having a nervous breakdown in the front seat.  Everything would be fine for a few moments, and then more tears would fall. 

After I dropped Lily off at my in-laws, I finally mustered enough normal to apologize to Molly for being a mess.  And my sweet, sweet child kindly said, 

"It's ok, mommy."

And then she proceeded to hand me some tissues from a packet in her bookbag (so prepared, I was so proud) and spoke words of love. 

Her gift is her acute sense of others' emotional states. 

She will laugh with you, cry with you, encourage you, and love on you when you need it. 

What a blessing.   

Just what I needed yesterday morning.


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