Thursday, January 20, 2011

Broke Eye Baby

My daughter has been wearing a patch on her eye for over a year and half.  She has a few eye issues which resulted in a need for glasses and patching at age 2.  Most of the time she puts on her glasses and patch without struggle and goes about her business.

But, every once in a while she tells us that she doesn't like wearing the patch and that she really doesn't want to put it on.  

And when she does that, my heart breaks a little.  

I know she doesn't like wearing the patch.  I know her eye feels sweaty when she takes off the patch at the end of the day.  I know it's not fun to pull out a little bit of her eyebrow every time she rips off the adhesive patch.  I know she would rather use her better eye instead of covering it to strengthen the weaker eye.  

I want my daughter to be able to wake up and see the world like her sister--without the need for glasses or patching or visits to the eye specialist throughout the year.  

I want her to be able to play on a playground without having to visit the eye care center to straighten out her frames when she bends them. 

I worry about her going to school and having children tease her.  

But, I know that she must endure all of this if she wants any hope of gaining better vision when she's older.  

Therefore, she must patch.  There's no other option right now.  

This morning was one of those mornings in which she didn't want to patch.  She brought her bag of patches to Chris and started crying and said, "I don't want to put my patch on" in that awful, pitiful voice.  Her face was all crumpled and sad and I watched as my husband reminded her of her need for the patch as he gently put it over her eye.   

In that moment, as I watched Chris and Lily, I thought about the rest of us and the daily patches we put on.  

"I didn't want my spouse/parent/friend to die."

"I don't have enough money to pay the bills."

"I hate my job."

"Why did that accident have to happen?"

"I don't like where I live."

"I didn't expect my relationship/marriage to end up like this."

"I don't understand why I have to endure trial after trial after trial."

I imagine in those moments our Heavenly Father looks at us and tries to explain to us, His little 3 year olds, that even though we can't understand it, we must endure the patching. I'm sure His heart hurts a little as He reminds us that we must straighten up, dry our tears, and wear our patch in order to strengthen our eyes.  He knows we don't understand it.  He knows it doesn't make sense to us to cover our good eyes when we could use them now. His heart hurts for us when we cry out to Him about the confusion of this life.

But, if we never endure the patching, we will never be able to see like He sees.


Be Thou my Vision, O Lord of my heart. . .  


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