I really meant it when I wrote it.
Seriously. I meant every. single. word.
However, sometimes you can't avoid an overly-booked calendar of events. Between work, church, and family commitments it's been a whirlwind in the Avery house for the past two weeks. My eyes have leaked stress tears, my kids have been crazy/cranky, and yes, it's going to be the 16th tomorrow and I still have those presents that haven't been purchased. . . or even decided upon. I've been waking up at 1 and 2 am this past three nights and running through my to-do list for the coming week. And then I get nauseous thinking about the to-do list. And then I worry that perhaps it's that stomach bug that's been going around. . .and goodness me I don't have time to be sick!
In the next week I've got 6 concerts/events that I'm either directing or performing, a few rehearsals, a concert I'm attending (and very much looking forward to!), a ladies luncheon (another event I'm looking forward to hosting!), kids to shuffle between birthday parties and slumber parties with grandmama, as well as life/work/family in general.
And then I will have t-minus three days before Christmas.
We won't even talk about how I already miss Christmas. . .
I may or may not have had a mini-breakdown last night. After a long week, I had reached my peak. Luckily, my lerve, Christacular, had enough compassion to talk me through my stresses. He tends to see things in a more rational way and can usually offer perspective that keeps me from exploding into a pile of distress.
He really is the Yin to my Yang.
|Lauren Thorn Photography|
This morning, in my complete and utter exhaustion, I prayed for that Peace of the Season that I've been missing these past two weeks or so. I wanted some relief from the madness and pressures I've been placing on myself to do all things well for all people and for all the complicated reasons to do these things well.
It's been a total nightmare.
Welcome to my brain.
My name is Amanda, and I am a good girl.
And, thank goodness, today has been better. Yes, I'm still exhausted. Yes, I'm ready to be done with this craziness for a few weeks. Yes, I'm ready to stop and be still and breathe and be ok with things.
After my prayers this morning, I had the strength to deal with the day. I had rational thoughts and feelings. I had a strong sense of determination and patience--something I've been running low on recently. Today was a decent day, despite the cards being stacked against me.
Thank goodness for the Prince of Peace.