The slow unravel

I feel like my life is slowly unraveling this December.  

Some of it is by proximity--friends going through a scary diagnosis.  Churches dealing with the aches and pains of ministry.  Friends losing loved ones.  Friends dealing with difficult family situations.  Friends dealing with work.  Arguments and situations which seem impossible.

Some of it is a lot of minor things in my own household.  A nail in a tire.  A dishwasher that decides it simply can't run any more.  A full holiday schedule and not enough time to take care of the ins and outs of daily life, and feeling the weight of the pressure. Clutter, laundry, and transporting children.  An empty floor beneath my tree.  

Some of it is personal--being hurt, and also unintentionally upsetting another.  Regrets and shame and the endless cycle of doing my best to measure up.  Feeling the perpetual fatigue from marathon training and not seeing cooperation on the scales because 40 is mean.  Dark circles, gray hairs, and shapewear.

December has a way of making you feel less than ideal.  

I think that's the point. 

The weary world rejoices...