Sunday, September 3, 2017

Mind Shift (Part I).

I decided that after a long summer (and honestly, a hard school year last year) that I was going to hit this school year with an open mind and heart and I was going to stop dwelling on the past and embrace the present.  I have experienced a series of unfortunate events in my both personal and professional lives in the past year, and it was enough to make me slightly jaded and feel the need to return to my friendly antidepressant and a multivitamin last spring.

I spent a good deal of my summer focusing on self-care and trying to find my personal center again.  I began eliminating caffeine after my morning cups of coffee (because, let's be real, the world isn't ready for Mama A to give that up).  I started drinking more and more water.  I made time to exercise and started a new running plan.  I read for fun and I read for professional and creative reasons.   I watched good and interesting shows and documentaries.  I made some progress on the #sweetcampkitchen and also painted my dining room.  I dug into a Bible study and made the time to pray and journal each day.  Chris and I got away for a few days to the most magical place on earth.  I bought an alarm clock and a tiny bedside fan and visited the library for books to avoid screens before bedtime because sleep is precious.  And my sweet husband brought home a pair of Birkenstocks for me because happy, supported feet are necessary for a teacher.

I knew going into this school year we were going to be maxed out on our time with youth group and rehearsals and dance and homework and exercise and the regular household maintenance routines so we don't end up living and looking like a bunch of savages.  We also made the commitment to try to work on our grocery budget--so more eating at home which means more prep, cooking, and cleaning.  I have planned and coordinated and prepped the busy lives of our family of five.  However, I have spent a lot of time reminding and teaching the new schedule to my girls.  They are learning that a busy tomorrow must be prepared for today because this mama does not handle last minute emergencies well.

I had a great start to the school year.  I was encouraged by many people and things, and I had engaging first week lessons.  I'm always happy to see my colleagues and I function best with a routine.  I go go go at work and maximize each minute of the day.  I hit my exercise targets last week and worked through some sore legs.  My girls got to dance each day with the help of my husband.  We followed our meal plan for the week and were making it through each day.  But, I was very much looking forward to a long weekend.  This mama was exhausted by 8:30 each night and ready to catch up on some sleep and get ahead for the coming week.

I was feeling pretty good about the state of affairs until late Friday night.  We had gotten home late and my eldest daughter indicated she only had 6 days of contacts left.  This meant that she would not have enough to make it through the school week and we would need to schedule an appointment for her--hoping we could get her in before the contacts were gone because her glasses are not up to date.  But, it could not be an afternoon at the end of the week because she's trying out for cheer on Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday.  And it was a holiday weekend, so Tuesday was really going to be the best option.

We got up on Saturday morning and took her to get a sports physical at the local urgent care.  It was raining and I was hoping it would be quick.  Unfortunately, it took almost two hours for them to declare she was fine and I always feel like my throat gets scratchy when I'm sitting in there because I'm positive that the contagious people are trying to infect me (and what mama in the world has time for that???)  By the time we got out of there I called to get an eye appointment for her and the only way they could fit her in would be on Thursday morning.  So she will have to go in to school to check out/in to be there for her tryouts after school.  And she was invited to a last minute surprise party for a friend, which was so sweet and we were excited to do, but it was one more thing we needed to do on Saturday.

I found myself getting a little annoyed with her while we were driving around handling her business.  I didn't ask for my Saturday to be filled with running her around and on the phone and making plans and appointments for her.  I didn't have time or the energy to run, and I was still not caught up on my laundry.  I started seeing some of the clutter and mess I had missed during the week, and I was angry that the bathrooms must be cleaned all the time because people keep using them.  And the kitchen floor is still sticky from a spill earlier in the week.  Other things started happening and I told my husband that I was quitting Saturday.

I started dreaming of a cleaning lady who would just handle floors and bathrooms.  I thought about all of my friends at the ECU game and how much fun it would be to be there (even though the Pirates need to get it together).  I wanted carbs and soda and sleep and to tune out the people in my house so I could watch The Walking Dead marathon.  

to be continued. . .                  

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