Friday, January 1, 2016

2016.

No big resolutions for 2016. 

And honestly, there's no need, because I spend my entire life with self-inflicted, minute-by-minute resolutions and expectations breathing down my neck and into my soul:

I am going to do that better next time. 

I better workout at the gym with more intensity next time.

I'll never make that mistake again. 

I can't let everyone down. 

I'll be a better mother, daughter, sister, wife, friend.  

I can teach that lesson much better next time. 

I'll streamline those systems. 

I better get this household under control.

I need to make things more efficient. 

I'll do, I'll be, I'll plan, I'll execute. 

And then I find myself in agony and shame when I let myself (and others) down again and again and again with my imperfections.  I devote a lot of time and energy to making the world around me better like it's my job.  Especially when it comes to these sweet babies: 

Christmas 2015.  Molly (11), Lily (8), and Olivia (2).
Enough is enough. 

No resolutions for me this year except to wipe the slate clean each day. 

Each day is a fresh start, a new beginning, a new chance to pick it up and try it again.  It's time to clean up my expectations and I'm quietly stepping away from those demanding too much from me.  I can't live at that pace and function like a balanced individual, so I'm letting it go.  I'm choosing to accept my smallness, shortcomings, and failures.  I'm choosing to extend a little more grace to myself and others because we are all in this sinking boat of perfection.   

We only have so much to give the world each day, and I don't know about you, but I am tired of living on spent time from the past, and borrowed time from the future.        

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