Tuesday, October 6, 2015

31 Days of Reclaiming Life: Day 6

I'm taking a deep breath and letting you peep into the way my crazy brain waves its freak flag sometimes.  
I'm thanking you in advance for being my friends.  
Hold me, Jesus. 

I have a confession to make: 

I didn't plan out all 31 days of this writing challenge before October 1st.  

Taken the morning I decided to participate in the 31 Days challenge.  Notice the date. 
In fact, it wasn't until about two days before the beginning of the month that I remembered this challenge was coming around again.  I know that it's a big time commitment--it requires me to sit down and write for at least 30 minutes to an hour each day (and sometimes longer on the weekends).  It also requires me to have something to say each day--and it needs to be something of substance because I personally dislike reading 100% fluffy, life-lite blogs.

Gimme something I can sink my teeth into and don't beat around the proverbial bush.   

And I also like your pretty and interesting pictures.  

I need you to understand how this failure to prepare is very unlike me.  I would never want to begin something like this so haphazardly because I live in The World of The Planning.

  • I have no less than 4 calendars in my life at any given moment--and all are pretty much synced with each other.  Some are color-coded, some have stickers, and some are written only in one color because my brain can't handle colorful madness on that particular calendar.
  • I keep multiple calendars to keep myself and my schedule straight.
  • I love the convenience of having a calendar on my phone--but I still heart you, trusty paper calendars and magical Sharpie pens.
  • Misspelling a word on my calendars = a puppy might die.
  • I like the opportunity to look at the entire picture whenever I approach any activity.
  • I like being able to sit back and observe all the pieces and determine the number of steps and the time it will take to complete the project, the day, the week, the month, and/or the year.

It's almost like time is a big fun puzzle--and I have a love/hate relationship with making it all come together before the deadline.

Because every planner person knows that deadlines are for those "other" peoples 
(the ones who don't know how to properly plan). 


I'm joking. 
Maybe.

I take pride in the fact that I can usually get things done.  I want to be known for my ability to make it all come together and make it look effortless in the process.  I don't like to feel overwhelmed or rushed--it makes me feel like I can't breathe.  I like to have the time to carefully consider my steps, time to look at all the options, and time to be able to make sense of the goals before I even begin working towards any project.  

But, let's be real--life rarely operates in a neat and predictable pattern.

This weekend's plans were interrupted by flooding rains, nasty road conditions, school dismissals and closings, and a vomiting child.  I certainly didn't plan for any of that.  But, it happened, and now I'm having to rethink many different parts of my calendar.  Luckily, for those around me, I have time to do this.  

Because when I have to make new plans on the fly, all of my brainpower is being used towards putting the puzzle pieces together again.  

That includes the brainpower needed to speak calmly (and nicely) towards others.


Just shut up and let me think.

I fully recognize that planning my life is not living my life.  I'm so used to planning and preparing and working towards an event or activity that it's hard for me to just sit back and enjoy the very thing I've worked towards making wonderful.  It's my method of control.  It's my way of making those around me happy.  Because if the people around me are happy, then I'm going to be happy, too.  My brain believes the world must be happiest when there is order, peace, and harmony. 

Looks like I need to go ahead and mark "making life perfect" off of my to-do list. 

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