31 Days of Reclaiming Life: Day 20

I work hard to schedule, to manage, to determine my steps.  I'm embarrassed when I fail to find the way to make it all come together in a nice little package of time.

But I want to be mindful of my days and the many things that must come to pass before I lay my head down at night.  The tighter I try to hold on to my life, the more quickly it seems to slip through my fingers.

I'm still working on all of that. 

I want to breathe deep in this season and wrap my hands around a warm cup of coffee with someone who speaks to my soul.  I want to discuss everything and nothing and have it matter and mean something.  I want to think deep thoughts, I want to create, I want to write and write and write, and I want to be ok with what it all is and what it's going to be.

I want to hang my lights and be nostalgic and swoony.

No judgements concerning the time of year to properly begin decorating for the season.

I want to be careful with my words and even more careful with my heart.  I want people to know that what comes out of my mouth, or what is written all over my face, isn't always my intention.  I want people to know that I'm doing my best to come from a genuine perspective.

I want to be understood. 

I want to be serious and I want to be funny.  I want to be noticed and I want to hide.  I want to observe and learn and grow.  I want to be everything and I want to be nothing.

Life is so big and scary, and yet, small and familiar.  

And I'm still learning to embrace the many things that come my way each day and how I change and become new as I'm being prepared to greet them.