31 Days of Reclaiming Life: Day 11

All is quiet on the Avery front this morning.  It's dark at 8am in the house thanks to some fantastic clouds and all the little people in the house are still.  This is one of my favorite times of the day--when the only things moving are myself, the dog, and the dripping of the coffee.

Quiet is safe and sacred to me. 

Most of the time I get my best work done in silence.  I can think, imagine, and be incredibly productive without the distractions of the world.  At the end of a long day at school, I never turn on the radio in the car.  When I'm trying to write in my journal or in this space, silence helps me think better.  My brain is louder in the silence.  Sometimes I hear His voice clearly speaking to me, and sometimes I feel His nudging.

Unfortunately, I have seasons in which my sacred silence is taken from me.  Children don't always cooperate.  People rattling wrappers and chewing and swallowing at the table as I try to edit a post makes my absolute skin crawl. 

Throw ya hands up, my fellow misophonics!  

Life is loud.  Things get hectic and crazy and I can't find always find the time to sit and be still.  My heart gets hurt and my body gets tired.  And when I can't find, or make, the time to find silence again, the words that enter my brain come from the enemy of the One who loves me the best.  

Because Satan prowls like a lion, slinking around in the darkness and waiting to pounce.   

Church people don't freak out, but I've never wholly identified with the imagery of putting on "the armor of God."  Maybe it's because I'm a girl, maybe because I'm a civilian, or maybe it's because I just don't find the idea of putting on armor as exciting or fun.  

In fact, it seems like it would be a very sweaty undertaking.  

Please don't misunderstand what I'm saying: I 100% agree with the idea of preparing yourself for the battle for your soul and the souls of this world.  I understand how crucial it is for the Church to remain at the ready.  And I understand that this battle is life or death--and armor is an appropriate image for the gravity of the situation.  

So, if you are feeling the need to attack my opinion, you can just simma down.  

But I love the way the Message words this section of the Bible: 

 And that about wraps it up. God is strong, and he wants you strong. So take everything the Master has set out for you, well-made weapons of the best materials. And put them to use so you will be able to stand up to everything the Devil throws your way. This is no afternoon athletic contest that we’ll walk away from and forget about in a couple of hours. This is for keeps, a life-or-death fight to the finish against the Devil and all his angels.

 Be prepared. You’re up against far more than you can handle on your own. Take all the help you can get, every weapon God has issued, so that when it’s all over but the shouting you’ll still be on your feet. Truth, righteousness, peace, faith, and salvation are more than words. Learn how to apply them. You’ll need them throughout your life. God’s Word is an indispensable weapon. In the same way, prayer is essential in this ongoing warfare. Pray hard and long. Pray for your brothers and sisters. Keep your eyes open. Keep each other’s spirits up so that no one falls behind or drops out.

Ephesians 6:10-18 MSG

This is imagery I can identify with.  

Because if we are going to try to truly reclaim our lives--we must be willing to do whatever it takes protect our souls that have already been claimed by The Lord two thousand years ago.  We are going to have to fight this battle to the very end of our lives--and it's not always going to be bombs and guns and explosions.  Sometimes this battle is going to be broken hearts, shame, and despair.  Sometimes it's going to be secrets and regrets and bad decisions.  Sometimes the internal wounds will grieve us more than physical wounds ever will.  

My silence is my way to prepare myself for the daily battles of the day and the longterm battles for my life and soul.  When I make silence a priority, I am better equipped for what is coming my way.  I cannot do this alone, but I must make the effort to stand a fighting chance against the constant attacks for my mind and soul.  

I don't know what it is for you that helps you find your internal Center.  

But, when you find it, fight to protect it.