31 Days with Mama A: Space (Day 25).

It's an interesting time at our house these days.

I've got a tween, a kid, and a toddler. 

No wonder I'm exhausted. 

I have written before about how nervous I am about navigating this season of child-rearing.  I've seen the good, bad, and the ugly and I'd rather not deal with some of the issues I'm seeing in children around me each day.  

My husband and I have decided that it is time to give each girl her own room and her own space.  We are so fortunate to have a large enough home to do that and we will soon begin transitioning our eldest girls into separate rooms..  I'm glad we are able to do this--M needs her own space to figure out exactly what in the world is going on with those hormones and things that the kids in her age group are beginning to deal with.  L needs space to be creative and messy, and O needs space to be the baby of the family. 

In the meantime, I'm working to create my own space within our crazy schedule.  Our time flies by each week and I'm painfully aware of the fact that these years are short.  Even still, there must be a concerted effort to find time just for me--whether it's a trip to the gym, a movie with my lerve muffin, or an impromptu coffee with my neighbor.  

I love listening to Andy Stanley's podcasts.  One of my most favorite series is about creating margins in all areas of our lives (finances, time, etc).  Margin is something that we don't seem to have a lot of these days at our house.  Our work, camp, church, and school schedules keep us pretty busy.  We're still waiting for our house to sell, and we've collected a small amount of debt over the years.  I often feel like it's all I can do to get our family from one day to the next, and even then I often feel like I'm falling short in so many areas.  And when I get a little down in the dumps about my inability to get it all done in the manner I want, that crafty serpent starts whispering in my ears about how I'll never measure up to all of the other women.  How other ladies make it all look so easy, and I'm not even able to handle the simple tasks I've been given.  

Oh, how many times have I allowed this voice to sneak in my heart? 

But I know the Truth.  

And that Truth reminds me that I am placed in this season and in this space for a reason.  
I'm reminded that I am indeed loved so much.  

This Truth reminds me that I cannot do this all on my own, that I was never created to do all of this on my own, and that it's more than ok to admit my human frailty because it reminds me over and over and over again to turn my gaze and my thoughts upward.  

But the greatest challenge is getting my head and heart in agreement with one another again. 

. . .  to be continued. . .

Love and smooches, 
Mama A. 

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