Saturday, October 11, 2014

31 Days with Mama A: Heroines 2.0 (Day 11)

Hello darlings!  It's Saturday (thank you sweet Jesus), it's Saturday!

I hope you spend part of this weekend doing something that fills you up and gives you the energy to make it through the next workweek.  I had coffee with a friend yesterday afternoon in her home and it did my soul so well.



Yesterday we discussed the awesomeness of Steel Magnolias.  Today we're going to discuss another of my favorite books and movies, The Help.  I actually read this book before I knew it was going to be a movie.  Boy, was I delighted when I saw the preview in the theaters:


 I have always loved a good Southern-based story, and this one did not disappoint.  

Yesterday we talked about knowing the right (and wrong times) to say something to others and the importance of manners.  But folks, there are times we need to know what to say to ourselves.  

Aibileen knew exactly what to say in The Help: 


The only other phrase (and scene) that might be even better from The Help but for content (and language) purposes we won't share here?  

"Terrible awful."  

Oh snap, Minnie.  
Oh. 
Snap. 

I don't know about you, but my internal dialogue is often negative and self-deprecating.  I tend to become very discouraged and frustrated when things don't go exactly to plan.  When we become adults we rarely have a whole cheering section of folks clapping us on and giving us a daily "good job!" because everyone else is worried about themselves.  It can be hard to see the positive things about ourselves because we are overly aware of our faults.  I often fail to remind myself that I am, in fact, important.   

How I love that Aibileen focused on teaching her children the importance of being smart and kind. Remember in middle school?  Being smart and kind made you a big ol' target to the bullies.  They wanted to pull you down into the slums with them, and man oh man they could break your heart with their words.  But being smart and kind is going to take you a lot of places in life.  You will always go farther with a good head on your shoulder and the ability to get along with others.  I hope that I am able to model those traits to my girls, and that I do my best to keep anyone from taking it away from them.  

And Aibileen wanted the children to know that they were important.  For some, no one ever said that they were important.  They haven't been told that they were loved.  They haven't been made a priority in their parents' or spouse's daily schedules.  There are children in my classroom that act like animals and don't know how to react to positive feedback because they have never been taught how to properly receive it.  

My loves, if no one has ever told you:  You are very, very important to Him.  

Now, there is such a thing as taking this too far.  There are a lot of parents who have taught their children that they were the smartest and the most important and often forget to mention the "kind" part of the equation.  These children do not know how to share the spotlight with others, they cannot handle criticism, and their parents are often the first ones to attack the teachers and coaches when little Suzy Sunshine is disappointed.  These parents are irrational people and they have created little irrational monsters.  

And let me let you in on a little secret:  We teachers loathe those parents and really, really, really have a hard time learning to like those children.  

But here's the thing I want you to take away from this, my dearies.  The deceiver wants you to believe that you are not worth any of it.  He wants you to believe that you are worthless and unloved. He wants to remind you over and over and over again about your countless failures and shortcomings.  He wants to sear his lies into your heart and mind until you believe it as the truth.  

But sweet things, that can't be further than the truth.  



Love and smooches, 
Mama A. 
xoxxo


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