Convicts.

There is no condemnation, yet we walk like people with nooses around our necks.

  

We let our transgressions beat us up over and over and over again.  We tell Jesus that His death, His grace, His love is all well and fine--but it isn't enough to cover us.  We believe that our sins are too great, that we have gone too far, that we have failed because we fixate on the broken things that break our spirits.  We refuse to let ourselves off the hook and we keep our eyes downcast.

And sometimes we walk around inflated and confident, hoping to distract the others from knowing that we're human, too.  Our pride refuses to let anyone see the weakness that is seeping from our pores.  

What would everyone think if they knew?

Meanwhile, Satan is prowling like a lion.  Ready to pounce.  Ready to devour.  Ready to claw his way into our hearts and rip us into shreds because he knows that he's already lost.  But, like a scrappy little animal, he's not going down without a fight.  So, he hits us in the groin with cheap shots because he knows that our fragile humanity can't handle the repeated attacks.  

He whispers in our ears that we have failed.  

We're failing.  

We're failures. 

And. we. listen.  

Why, Church? Why are we all listening? 

It doesn't make sense to me, either. 

I don't want to fill my head and heart with those voices that remind me that I'm not perfect.  That I am a total mess.  That I can't compete with the other folks, and that I might as well quit while I'm behind.  I don't want to taste the jealousy that comes up like bile.  I don't want to be afraid to speak up and remain intimidated.  I don't want to rage and lose all self-respect and stomp my feet when I don't get my way. 

I want to be enveloped by the Love that sets me free. 

I want us to taste the Freedom that is ours for the taking, I want us to remember how it feels on our hearts.  I want us to shut out the extra noise and listen to the heartbeat.  I want Him to repair those wounds we've been nursing for far too long.  I'm tired of us being our own worst enemies, and the Church serving as one big courtroom--ready to pass judgements on one another.  

I want us to run with wild abandon.

We've lost our First Love and allowed everything else to take its place.  

It's time to stand up and fight back, Church.