Tuesday, May 7, 2013

Fleeting.

A student lost her father this morning in a car accident.  She's only a little girl.  It hurts my heart to think about how that must affect a preteen girl, and how her life is forever changed.

We just purchased a very expensive baby monitor.  It was the one and only thing my husband requested that we purchase for Baby O.  His memory will not let him forget a sweet baby boy on that sunny August day.

A lady at our church is dealing with a probable cancer diagnosis.  Again. And she's a mommy.  

A friend and I talked about our biggest fear as parents was dying and leaving our kids behind before we felt like we had given them everything they needed from their moms.  

I used to think I was the only one that worried about those things.  

My daughters both wrote me the sweetest love notes this week.  Their words will be written on my heart for the rest of my life.  I know one day they won't believe those words when the teen hormones steal them away from me.  I'm fueling my love tank with their letters now.  

I stumbled across an abortion video this week on a friend's Facebook wall.  I shouldn't have watched it--and I only saw maybe a total of 10 seconds of the entire process before I had to completely shut my computer down.  I went to the bathroom to cry in rage and sadness and broken-heartedness.  I will never forget what I saw.  Horrific. 

I'm wrestling with being a few weeks away from delivery and new (again) motherhood and life and death and babies and kiddos growing up and all of those hormonal things are plaguing my heart and mind.  

I'm struck again and again and again with remembering how quick and fleeting this lifetime is--and how often we spend our time on ridiculous things like workplace issues, drama, gossip, and stupid games and Facebook and blogs and  . . .  stuff.  

Stuff that does. not. matter.

So I'm taking time to reconsider the things that I feel are most important, and changing my priorities and routines to reflect those things.  I hope that when I'm at the end of my life I can look back and not regret. 

And in the meantime, I don't want to miss the life happening right in front of me. 

Right now.  

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