Heartbreak in the Walmart Aisle.
Yesterday, I received a small amount of money that I had designated for some baby items--a big box of wipes, bottle supplies, onsies, and gowns. Nothing too major because we are not trying to explode our house with unnecessary baby items. We've been fortunate that many people have given us some of their gently new or never used items and clothing, and we've been able to put some money away to cover the items we felt needed to be purchased new (like a car seat, play yard, bottle supplies, etc). I am not a total germaphobe, but some things do creep me out and I'd rather not reuse certain things. I'm sure your baby is precious, but he or she also throws up, pees and poops through outfits, and spills bottle contents on things 24/7.
And, honestly, it's not even that cute when our personal children do it.
It's pretty gross.
Anyhow, I knew there were a few things I wanted to go ahead and pick up. The girls and I loved looking at all of the cute things. I made my selections and continued shopping for groceries. Two aisles later, Lily looked up at me and said in her sweetest voice and quivering lip and chin:
"Mommy, I'm so afraid that you will think those baby things are cuter than me."
I immediately stopped my cart and got down on her level and assured her that we had plenty of love in our house for thousands of babies and she would never, ever, ever be replaced or loved any less. And, yes, she was certainly very cute. Molly chimed right in and told her that it was ok and we had a quick love fest in the middle of aisle 17. A lady was very impatiently huffing and waiting for us to move so she could pick out her paper plates, but I didn't care. My little girl was going to get the love and assurance she needed right then and there.
|Lily. Keeping it real. Saturday morning style.|
She has been the child most excited about her baby sister. She has been the one to curl up and rest her head and hands on my stomach hoping to feel an elusive kick. She kisses my stomach before I walk out the door in the morning. She absolutely loves the idea of a new baby sister.
But she certainly doesn't want to be dethroned, either.
I think we are all like that. Sometimes we are all divided in our feelings over things--we are happy for others, and we throw a little jealousy in there, too. We want to rejoice when someone celebrates, but we also feel a little sorry for ourselves. We love it when good people are rewarded, but we want some validation, too.
I can't adequately explain to my 5 year old how I love her just the way she is. She's not perfect, but she's a good mix of sweet and silly and messy and creative and fun and distracted and great. She makes us laugh with her humor and she makes us swoon with her gestures of love. She makes me enjoy the small moments and take notice of life happening all around me right now. I love seeing the world through her (broken) eyes.
|Lily, spring 2012.|
And the best part is that she's not a clone of her older sister. My nine year old is smart and spunky and clever. When she laughs, her whole world stops until she gets it out of her system. She gets lost in books and loves words. She wears her opinions on her face and her heart on her sleeve. I also swear sometimes she is from south of the border because Mexican food is always an option in her mind.
|Molly. Spring 2012|
I love how different my girls are and I love that they are mine. I can't even imagine what our littlest sister is going to add to the mix. Maybe I'll finally get my chocolate baby or maybe she'll be like her sisters and find every recessive gene in my system and look exactly like her father.
But they are all unique.
They are all special.
And they are all loved.
Much like the Father loves us equally.
So, the next time you have an emotional breakdown in the Walmart aisle, or at work, or at church, in the shower, or in the car--remind yourself that you are fearfully and wonderfully made. You will never be like him, her, or them. And that is perfectly ok. There is more than enough love and room at His house for all of us. There is no need to compare yourself to others to find your worth. They are probably comparing themselves to someone else, anyhow.
Our worth comes from Him.
The rest of it is just icing on the cake.
Happy Saturday! xoxxo