I've got peace in my soul this morning. The waters have crashed over me time and time again this year. Teaching me when to bend with, and when to stand firm against the tide. They've also pooled around my ankles, barely announcing their presence, but still commanding a healthy respect.
I've learned that I cannot control the water.
As much as I want to, it's going to do what it's supposed to do. It's going to be beautiful and still. It's going to be frothy and angry during storms. It's going to provide nourishment for the things that live inside of the waters, and sometimes it allows things to die as well. I can hunt and come up with empty pots--and sometimes an unsuspecting soft shell will wander directly under my net. It's full of surprises and I never know what to expect.
It reminds me of this past year.
2012 was a good year for our family. We received an incredible ministry opportunity, we were provided a waterfront home for our family, we have found a new church home, and we found out that we are expecting family member #5. We have slowed our pace, we have been gifted with the kindness of new and old friends, and we have a family that has supported us through all of our transitions this year.
This year has also been a challenge for me. I've struggled with learning my new role as a non-minister's wife. I've worked to make this house a home for our family. I've discovered areas of my life that I need to improve on in the coming years ahead. I've allowed my heart to find forgiveness, and the Lord has had to remind me over and over and over again of His unfailing grace and mercy.
My life is a lot like these waters that greet me each morning.
I have never had any control over it--much to my dismay. Even with my best efforts, I've found the moments slip from my hands, back into the larger pool. I can't speed things up, I can't slow them down. I can never revisit situations and I have no idea what will be coming next. It has knocked me completely down, and at other times it has provided moments of serenity. There are unexpected treasures that float along, and if one's looking at the right time, these treasures can easily be found. There are also days, weeks, and months that go by without one single find. And that's ok, too.
So, what's 2013 going to bring? I have no earthly idea. But I do know that I must greet it with my face up and I have no choice but to step into the water. I can't allow myself to cover my eyes and turn my back on things. I know that I will be guided through whatever waters come my way. And I know the Lord will lead me through the waters, just as He did for Peter ages ago, and as He has led us all this past year.
So, at the closure of 2012, my prayer is to continue to find Life in the Water in 2013.