Monday, February 6, 2012

Roller Coaster (of love).

My life is like, a roller coaster baby, baby!  

I'm writing this on Sunday, January 29th--not this past weekend when Chris made the news public to everyone that he has accepted the camp manager position at our local camp.  He told his volunteers last weekend since they have worked with us through thick and thin.  He felt they had a right to know first--and they did.  We love those people and the work they do in the ministry.

But today, today is the week before and I feel like I have a big secret that is slowly being let out of the bag.  We have a lot to do in the coming weeks.  My house is a wreck--and will be a wreck until we move.  We've already started packing boxes and we're making decisions about things that we can live without for a month or more.  Do we need any of it at all?  Will it be fine to pack it up now?

I know it doesn't seem like much, but it's a lot for my mind to take hold of right now.

I can't believe this is happening.  I can't believe we're moving.  I can't believe Chris is getting a new job.  I can't believe any of it--it's a whole lot to process.  And I'm looking at the mess and boxes and the tape and the stuff and the memories and the neighborhood and it's a LOT of stuff to sift through.

However, I feel good about our decision.  I feel like we are right in step with the Lord.  I know we have spent many hours and days and months and years in prayer over this opportunity.

But my eyes wanted to flood when Molly said she didn't remember moving here--and I don't suspect she would.  She was 1 when we moved here.  She'll be 8 this month.

Time flies. 

I had a small inkling that this Christmas might be our last one in our home.  I tried to savor it more this year--taking in the decorations and wondering how they might look in a new home.  Being a little more careful when I packed them up.  Not putting everything up right away.  We still have some boxes in our kitchen that should have been put in the attic.  Now I wonder if we need to bother with them at all until we move.

I'm not attached to this house, but I am attached to the memories we made here.  

  Sweet Mrs. Betty reminded us that change, even good change, is hard.  

And she's right. 

Change is hard.  It's hard to move on from life as you know it.  It's hard to uproot and start over.  It's just hard. 

And I embrace our transition with open arms, but sometimes I confess that I bite my bottom lip thinking about it.  

I am beyond thankful for our time working at CC.  I am beyond thankful for the memories and the friendships and the opportunities we've shared with the people.  I am also beyond thankful that we don't have to say goodbye.  I am looking forward to being a regular member and doing the things we love to do at the church--worshipping with the people and getting to sit in the services with my husband.  

It's just a lot.  A whole lot to process today.  

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