Happy New Year!

It's so festive at our house this evening.  

Lazy afternoon resulting in laundry and lounging in pajamas. 

Kids in bed by 7:15pm. 

Well, sort of. . . 

Lily had a nose pain that needed "medicine"--instead she got a good nose blowing.  

And then a friendly reminder to go to bed. 

Chris and I are relaxing on the couch watching Grimm.  

It's an interesting show--sort of fairy tales meets Law & Order. 

I love me some Law & Order.  

ClangClang!

Earlier this evening I made sure I took a few obligatory tree photos before it all comes down this week. 

Resulted in this cuteness:

Sweet Buster Ray.  Always ready for a photo op. 

It's been a good year for our family.  

Here's hoping that 2012 brings even more adventures and excitement to Casa Avery. 

Happy New Year!

JHS, ECU, and Band/Music Peeps

Hello everyone--just wanted to give a quick shout out to all of you who know Bryant and Janae Copeland.  Their sweet baby girl, Clark, has kept them hopping with her overwhelming cuteness and her pesky GI issues that have a mind of their own.  The Copelands have been in and out of UNCCH hospital since August.  If you know the Copelands personally, you know it's always going to be a big adventure if they (or their children) are involved!

Anyhooo. . .Janae has recently started a blog with some more information about what's going on with them if you are interested in following their story.  

Please pray for the Copeland family and be sure to hop over to Janae's blog from time to time to get some updates.  

New Year.

After the presents are finally unwrapped.  
After the food has been prepared, presented, and devoured. 
After the house limps its way back to normal under the few remaining presents and scraps of paper and tape and some boxes and stuff that needs to find new homes. 
When you've shopped the day-after sales and were mildly disappointed that all you found were exactly two rolls of paper for next year (must. replenish. pink. paper. for. the. girls.) 
When you've hugged necks of family far and near and the house is quiet once again. 

Then you look at the new year square in the eyes and wonder what it holds in store for you.  

Maybe this new year holds something exciting in store for you.  

A new job, a new baby, a new home, a new relationship, a new marriage. 

Maybe this will be YOUR year--the year that everything finally works for you.  Maybe this year holds the keys to your future.  Maybe this will be the year that everything finally works together and you repair what was broken. 

Maybe this new year is your breath of fresh air.  

Or, maybe this year will be the year that the wind is knocked right out of your lungs.  Maybe this year holds the diagnosis, the loss of a loved one, the end of a relationship, the end of a job opportunity.  Maybe this is the year you will look back and want to erase.  

Maybe this will be the year that all hell breaks loose. 

Sometimes it can be very scary looking at the unknown.  Wondering if you will choose the best and right things.  I often concern myself with the "what ifs" and can make myself sick with worry.  I know in my deepest heart that I cannot control the future.  I know that I can only take each situation as it comes.  And I know that worrying will not add one more minute to my life.  

I know all of these answers and can recite them to anyone else who needs them at a moment's notice. 

But for me? 

I'm working on convincing my head that they are true for all of us.  

Including myself. 

I don't know what my future holds.  I don't know which paths my family will take this year.  I have no idea what's going to happen this afternoon, let alone this spring.  I don't know if we will all be standing around together this time next year.  Life has a funny way of happening every single day.  

Lauren Thorn Photography

But, I do know Who holds my future.  And I do know that He is in control.  And I do know that it's a lot easier if I let Him hold on to my plans and my future rather than hastily working on them with my worried mind.  

I think about some upcoming things my family will face this year.  I already know some bills that will need to be paid.  I already know some challenges we will face.  I also know to expect the unexpected. 


However, instead of filling my mind with worry and uncertainty and fears, I'm planning to repeat the promises I readily believe for others and start believing them to be true for myself.  

Matthew 6:34: Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don't get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes. (The Message)

And just like that

Christmas has come and gone for yet another year.  

I can hardly believe it's done. 

But despite spider bites which required an urgent care visit (so festive to have a red and black wound on your thigh), Buster's garbage gut vomiting episodes of foulest proportions, last minute hustles and bustles, head colds, and very sleepy eyes. . . 

It has been a very merry weekend.  

And I have been reminded again and again and again how incredibly blessed I am. 

Merry Christmas!

May your days be merry and bright. . . 

Lauren Thorn Photography

With love, 

The Averys

xoxxo

A Labor Of Love

So Long, Moses.

Oh my heavens, with all of the hustle and bustle of this week I haven't had time to adequately sit down and blog about one of my most wonderful holiday experiences this season.

A few weeks ago Katie McKinney asked Chris and I to join them (Katie and Greg, her lerve muffin) when they went to see Andrew Peterson's Behold the Lamb of God:  The True Tall Tale of the Coming of Christ in Durham.  Of course, we were excited about a day trip with the McKinney's--and a Christmas concert was a BONUS!

Chris was very excited about seeing Andrew Peterson--he really liked listening to him while we were in college.  I was not as familiar with Peterson's music--it wasn't quite my style when we were in school.  For some reason, I never really got into the whole Andrew Peterson, Derek Webb, Caedmon's Call, folkie hippie 90s music that my husband drools over.  I liked a song or two here and there, but I prefer musicthaticanwearmyrapperordivafacethankyouverymuch.

I likes the hip hops. 

BUT, I'm always game for any sort of live music situation--especially since this was a Christmas concert.  And I really looked forward to going with the McKinneys--because they are so fun!  And, it was a much needed break from the craziness that has been clouding our calendar since December 1st.  

Prior to the concert, I peeked on Peterson's website to get a sneak peek of the playlist and only recognized one song, "Labor of Love" (which btdubs, Katie McKinney can THROW IT DOWN like no one's business when she sings that song.  Snot fest like no other.  Hallelujer.)  So, again, no clue what I was going to listen to--and this is unlike me.  The musician within me normally studies up to prime the pump (or prep the ears) prior to a concert so that I'm aware of what I'm getting myself into.  I didn't have time to download and listen--so I went into the experience with no clue what to expect.  

On the day of the trip, after a quick dinner at a diner (in which Katie was assaulted by straws courtesy of our waiter, Bobby), we made it to the church in time for the concert.  The venue was beautiful--a newer building with some hints of old-world architecture.  I'm a total sucker for exposed beams and high ceilings and stone floors.  

The first part of the concert was in the round--Peterson had several musicians with him and each took a turn singing two of their personal songs.  This was fun--and a neat way to showcase their individual styles of music.  

And then Peterson sort of prefaced the whole Behold the Lamb of God by explaining it was 40ish minutes of nonstop music centered on the coming of Christ (and I mean, we went back to Moses and made it through the OT and the begats in Matthew and then the delivery).  Don't hate on me music snobs, but it was sort of a modern-day Messiah.  Peterson indicated that he wanted to bring back the excitement and wonder of this sesaon that many of us have lost over the years.  He wanted to bring back the joy that we felt as children--through his music.  

And he was so right.  I sat in that church for 40ish minutes and never once lost interest. The story, the word choices, the musicians--all so wonderful.  So special.  I want to listen to it again and again and again.  This was one of the most beautiful concerts I have ever listened to--fantastic.  I downloaded the album this week and it has been playing over and over in our house as we prepared for this weekend. 

Seriously--worth the download.  Immediately.  

I have considered several times this week about how we have lost the joy and magic that comes in this season. Even me, the Christmas Queen, can lose that sparkle as I dive head first into this season of obligations.  I lose sight of what I'm doing and why I'm doing it.  I hate that it happens--and I hate why it's almost impossible to find this joy on a daily basis in April or August.  Why do we wait until the holiday season to embrace it fully?  

So, my challenge to all of us is to fully embrace this wonder of the Christmas season in our daily lives.  To breathe in fully the goodness and mercy and love that He has shown us.  To not put it away with our decorations in a few days.  To not keep it in a box until next year.  

But to prominently display this wonder in our hearts.  

T-minus 2 Days. . .

It's almost here!!!

Lauren Thorn Photography

T-minus two days. . . 

The Gift of Anxiety

This time of year seems to pull it out of us in so many ways.  Even the best intentions and plans and meaningful activities can pull us in so many directions that we feel tired and frustrated and down.  I know our calendar has pulled us in multiple directions since December 1st.  We've had so many activities, performances, trips, and once we threw in a terrible head cold, it has all become one big, enormous mess.

I was feeling particularly low about a situation last week.  I was angry at myself as how I had handled it, angry with the individual who was also involved in it, and then angry at myself as I should know, react, and do better.  I've been extremely anxious and full of unhappy feelings.

Shame, shame, it knows my name.  

The first day I prayed, confessed, asked Him for forgiveness and overall I felt that I should move on from the situation.  I felt that revisiting this situation with the person on my terms would only cause more hurt feelings and strife.   I had a sense of peace about it.  

Until I didn't.  

Until guilt and shame rose up again inside of me.  It gnawed at my guts.  It embarrassed me.  It made me feel like I was nothing.  I was so ashamed.  I was unclean.  I was a terrible person.  I was full of sin. 

Pride, oh pride.  How you refuse to let me go.  

How I refuse to be or do something wrong.  How letting myself down is far worse than letting others down.  How I beat myself up over the most minor things.  

After wrestling with these thoughts through the weekend, I finally sat down with my husband and told him the whole situation.  I didn't even want to tell him.  I was so embarrassed, I didn't want him to think less of me.  I didn't want to admit (out loud) that I had done something wrong.  But I did--I told him what happened, what I had done wrong, how I was feeling, and asked him for advice.  And, essentially, he told me what I felt in the beginning:  Leave it alone unless there is a time that it is easily worked into a conversation with this person.

Even with the renewed sense of peace in this situation, I still feel badly.  I still feel residual guilt.  I still feel unclean.  I still feel anxious.  

It has stolen my joy this week.  

But this situation has made it even more obvious that I desperately need the One who came over 2000 years ago.  That I must rely on the Savior--Who was born so we could be cleansed of these terrible sins.  That I must let go of self-reliance and become reliant on the Creator of the Universe.  

That I cannot do it myself.  That I cannot take care of everything myself.  That I cannot be in control.  That I'm not the one that can fix it all and make it clean again.  

This season I hope we all recognize the daily need for the Savior's birth.  That it wasn't to save the people from that generation 2000 years ago, but for our generation as well. How we need Him in our conversations, in our circumstances, in our day-to-day.  How we need Him in the mundane and in the office.  How we need Him in family gatherings and in the uncomfortable.  

I wanted to fix this situation with this person because I wanted to handle things on my terms, not His.    

Instead, I feel like He's teaching me more by letting Him handle it for me. 

Guest Posting!

Find me over at Christ's Church's blog today talking about one of my most favorite Christmas songs this year.   

Can you guess what it is? 

Here's a hint. . . 

What songs are you listening to this holiday season?

Only about a month ago. . .

Remember this post?  The one in which I was talking about how I was leaning towards "less is more" and not becoming overly committed?

I really meant it when I wrote it.  

Seriously.  I meant every. single. word. 

However, sometimes you can't avoid an overly-booked calendar of events.  Between work, church, and family commitments it's been a whirlwind in the Avery house for the past two weeks.  My eyes have leaked stress tears, my kids have been crazy/cranky, and yes, it's going to be the 16th tomorrow and I still have those presents that haven't been purchased. . . or even decided upon.  I've been waking up at 1 and 2 am this past three nights and running through my to-do list for the coming week.  And then I get nauseous thinking about the to-do list.  And then I worry that perhaps it's that stomach bug that's been going around. . .and goodness me I don't have time to be sick!

In the next week I've got 6 concerts/events that I'm either directing or performing, a few rehearsals, a concert I'm attending (and very much looking forward to!), a ladies luncheon (another event I'm looking forward to hosting!), kids to shuffle between birthday parties and slumber parties with grandmama, as well as life/work/family in general.

And then I will have t-minus three days before Christmas.  

We won't even talk about how I already miss Christmas. . . 

I may or may not have had a mini-breakdown last night.  After a long week, I had reached my peak.  Luckily, my lerve, Christacular, had enough compassion to talk me through my stresses.  He tends to see things in a more rational way and can usually offer perspective that keeps me from exploding into a pile of distress.

He really is the Yin to my Yang. 

Lauren Thorn Photography

This morning, in my complete and utter exhaustion, I prayed for that Peace of the Season that I've been missing these past two weeks or so.  I wanted some relief from the madness and pressures I've been placing on myself to do all things well for all people and for all the complicated reasons to do these things well.

It's been a total nightmare. 

Welcome to my brain. 

My name is Amanda, and I am a good girl.  

And, thank goodness, today has been better.  Yes, I'm still exhausted.  Yes, I'm ready to be done with this craziness for a few weeks.  Yes, I'm ready to stop and be still and breathe and be ok with things. 

After my prayers this morning, I had the strength to deal with the day.  I had rational thoughts and feelings.  I had a strong sense of determination and patience--something I've been running low on recently.  Today was a decent day, despite the cards being stacked against me.  

Thank goodness for the Prince of Peace.  

Just a small, small taste. . .

Of the glorious photos taken last week by our sweet friend, Lauren!

  

We love them! 

Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Days

I had my fair share of them this past week.

I'm not sure if you ever read that book as a child, but it was always one of my favorites.

This week I seemed pressed on every side, in every situation, in every place, with every person I came into contact with.

It's all too interesting that the fires were stoked a little after this post, isn't it?

LIAR, LIAR, PANTS ON FIRE! 

(literally)

But this was one of those weeks--the house could not stay under control (and I can see the finish line for Lily's room--finally).  I was not remembering to do basic routine things that I have been doing for months now.  A lesson this week was a complete mess--despite my planning and preparation (it looked SO GOOD on paper).  The children at work were c-to the-razy and my children are all out of their routines due to the crazy things happening this week.  I was tired, I was emotional, I was a wreck.  Guilty thoughts filled my mind as I realized that I might have to let some folks down--and some of those people were people with opinions I care about.  Life seasons and changes taking their emotional toil on my mind and heart and prayers.  Simple conversations with people were taken the WRONG way.  Details and planning were taken out of my control and I had to "wing" several things at the last minute.  The change in weather was causing terrific headaches. 

I've felt on edge all week, waiting for the next hammer to pound my guts on the table.  

And then I lost my keys yesterday morning when it was time to leave. 

And a 10 minute search didn't make them appear. 

And then my windows were all frosty when we were already running late. 

And then, when I finally backed out of the driveway, I accidentally hit the windshield sprayer instead of the wipers and instantly froze my windshield. 

Again. 

Curse you, 27 degrees.  If you had been here all along instead of leaving us with your sister, 72 degrees, I would have known to expect your frosty evidence on my windshield. 

And that is when Amanda commenced crying on the way to work on Friday morning. 

It had nothing to do with work. 

It had nothing to do with home. 

It had nothing to do with schedules. 

It had everything to do with life. 

But it was just all too, too, too much and I had had ENOUGH of it all. 

My girls were strangely quiet in the backseat of the car.  I'm sure they were unsure as to why mommy was having a nervous breakdown in the front seat.  Everything would be fine for a few moments, and then more tears would fall. 

After I dropped Lily off at my in-laws, I finally mustered enough normal to apologize to Molly for being a mess.  And my sweet, sweet child kindly said, 

"It's ok, mommy."

And then she proceeded to hand me some tissues from a packet in her bookbag (so prepared, I was so proud) and spoke words of love. 

Her gift is her acute sense of others' emotional states. 

She will laugh with you, cry with you, encourage you, and love on you when you need it. 

What a blessing.   

Just what I needed yesterday morning.