Challenge.

This morning I'm facing a challenge.

A frustrating challenge.

An annoying challenge.

And it's just not going according to this Type-A girl's plan!

But I wonder if the timing of this challenge is giving me time to wait for my prize?

Perhaps these moments of frustration are correcting my path towards a better ending.

We shall see.

Sigh. 

In the meantime, where is that Milky Way bar Raquelita gave me?????

Mama A Says: Let Him Be a Man

Hello My Morning Glories (or perhaps you're reading this MUCH later today as you soak in every moment of this wonderful Memorial Day weekend!  Good for you!!!!)

Mama A's here this morning to talk to the big girls.  The grown up girls.  The girls who've got a few years of life and lovin' under their belts this morning.  The girls who've probably got a stretch mark or 600.  The girls who've been in a serious relationship for a while.  The girls who are married to their lerve.

But, Little Single Girls, this doesn't mean that this post doesn't apply to you.  I wish somehow had sat me down and said this stuff to me when I was a Little Single A as well. 

I have spent some time the past month really taking a step back and looking at the men folk we surround ourselves with.  

No, I haven't been checking them out.  

I got a man thankyouverymuch.  

I've had the pleasure of listening to the recordings from the Focus On event our church had two weekends ago with Cam and Sarah Huxford.  I had to listen to the recordings because we've had lots and lots of visitors and I couldn't be a bad hostess or one of those mommies who invites those friends to church.  This is one time I think Jesus would understand.   

But, my lerve, Christacular, was kind enough to snag the recordings so we could listen to them together on the way to my work retreat at the beach.  I've also been drawn to some marriage books when I was meandering through the library.  I particularly liked this Gary Thomas book.  

And then yesterday, through a interesting set of circumstances, I found myself alone in a church multipurpose room full of men at the Men's Retreat at Macedonia Church in Wililamston (Well, my homegirl Kim and another lady were there for 4.7 minutes as they sang their heavenly guts out and then bailed on me once they expelled said guts.  The lady population tripled while they were there).      

However, it was an honor to be part of such a special event for the men in our church community.  Our praise team from Christ's Church was asked to lead worship for the event and Dave Stone was the event speaker.  

Wow.  

You want to talk about a chilling moment?  A moment that will cut you to the core?  As worship leaders, we all love those moments in a service when we're singing and we can hear the congregation lifting the song louder and louder.  When we hear them above the band and we hear the hearts of the people in song.  When it takes our words out of our mouths and we are reminded the enormous significance of our jobs--and that significance has NOTHING to do with us.  

Imagine hearing a multipurpose room filled with men's voices.  Men's voices singing in earnest and in vocal parts and with purpose and conviction.  Men's voices filling the entire room with a heavenly sound.  

Mama A got a little teary.  Surprise, surprise, I know, I know. . . 

Ladies, don't we just love men? 

Sure they frustrate us to no end, but don't we just love them?  We love them because they are strong.  We love them because they are steady.  We love them because they protect us.  We love them because they are so incredibly different from us.  We love their lower voices.  We love their communication often doesn't involve words.  

But, interestingly enough, we don't let them be men. 

We try to make them into little ladies like us.  

Or even worse, we treat them like our children.  

Girls, I'm about to step on some toes.  And it's ok, because mine are already mashed. 

Stop treating your man like a child or as one of your girlfriends.  He's a man.  A dude.  A guy.  I'm so sick of seeing men completely controlled by their wives and girlfriends.  A man so whipped that he probably pees sitting down can't stand on his own two feet.  A man with no voice because his wife does all the talking in the house.  

It's ridiculous and it's SAD.  

Let him be a MAN!

Now, I am all about girl power and independent ladies.  I'm high five-ing you as I type.  But, I am also aware of the fine line that exists between strong lady and dictator.  

So, because I like lists and an orderly way of doing things, I've compiled some ways that you ladies can help your man be a man.  However, since I'm obviously not swimming in the testosterone pool, I gladly welcome any man readers (I know you're out there!) to add to the list in the comments below*.  

1.  Stop making your man carry your purse.  Really ladies, you can't carry your own purse?  If your purse is too heavy, you need to a. get a smaller purse, b. clean it out, or c. start going to the gym.  The only acceptable times a man can carry a purse would be immediately following surgery and he's being a hero and helping you into the car.  Or, if said purse is actually the diaper bag and he's being Super Dad and dropping his baby girl or baby boy off in the nursery.  And even that's pushing it.  How about you compromise on the diaper bag so he's not carrying a pastel bag that reads "Mommy's Little Angel" to the nursery?  

If you've already purchased a diaper bag I'm not suggesting you go out and buy a new one.  

My dear in-laws purchased a nice, black Vera Bradley diaper bag.  I thought I was doing Chris a favor because it wasn't pink.  And it looked very much like a regular bag and not a diaper bag.  But, this morning he reminded me that he got several compliments on his purse.  

2.  Stop bossing him around.  There is nothing worse than a guy that has a woman in charge of him.  You know, the woman who walks with purpose and her fists clenched and the poor man is walking three steps behind her and is mute and expressionless.  It's like a sad puppet show.  

Which leads me directly to. . . 

3.  Stop treating him like a child.  If you want your man to act like a man, then stop picking out his clothes, telling him what he should and should not eat, and giving him a to-do list everyday.  Now, I'm all about helping him avoid things like stripes and polkadots and plaids in the same outfit and encouraging him to eat better for health purposes.  But, if you're constantly nagging him or expecting him to follow directions like your kids, there is something wrong with you.  He is not your kid. 

4.  Your man is a waffle.  You are a plate of spaghetti.  It's true, I read the book. 

Men, like the squares of a waffle, compartmentalize every aspect of their life.  They think about one thing at a time.  And, they even have empty blocks in which they really think about nothing.   

I didn't believe it either at first, but it's true!

And I'll also let you figure out what their other blocks are for.  It's not rocket science. 

Women are like a big plate of spaghetti--we're twisting and intertwining and multitasking and coming back to where we started in our conversations.  We can think and talk about a lot of topics all at the same time.  Our minds can think about multiple things all at once.

And it can be so frustrating to us, but that's the way they're wired.  But, we love the focus and attention they give to a project.  We love the way they can be a voice of reason when we're so panicky and a jumble of nerves.  

But, stop expecting him to be more spaghetti.  Stop fussing at him when he only can handle one conversation topic and can't jump 5 times to the next one or the one you started with.  Stop yelling at him when he tells you nothing is on his mind--it's probably true.  

5.  Let him lead.  Let him figure out what he wants to do on your next date night.  Let him know he has the final word in your household discussions.  This can be a hard pill to swallow.  I know it is for me--I know many of my girlfriend's have a hard time swallowing the whole Ephesians 5 submission discussion at church.  

I'm going to let you in on a little secret.  I like to be the boss.  I love to be in charge.  I tend to be very driven and type A.  The Good Lord created in me a hands on the hips, sassy faced, neck rollin', southern girl.  And sometimes it's hard to switch her off.

But, I'm married to a good man.  And there are a lot of you that are married to good men.  ("Like Scott or Mark" adds Christacular).  And as much as I want to, there are times I need to put the duck tape on my mouth and think, "Yes, dear."  I need to remember that if I'm married to a man good enough to lay his life down for me, then I need to respect that man and treat him well.  I need to stop trying to tell him what to do. 

Ladies, if you were drowning and a lifeguard jumped in to save you--would you criticize his breast stroke?  Would you interrupt his CPR and say, "You're supposed to count to 5!" No!  You'd let him be in charge, you'd let him lead, you'd let him help, you'd let him save you.  And then he'd be your hero for the rest of your life.  

Let your man be your hero.  Cue Enrique.

Happy Saturday!

  *Any man that answers will receive a prize (a hole punch on your Man Card) and you will be helping other men out there as well.  

I Didn't Know.

I didn't know.

I had no idea 10 years ago that my life would be like this.

I had no clue.

I was simply a college graduate.

I was educated.

I was a grown up.  (H&1/2 anyone???)

At least that's what they said to us on the lawn of Dowdy-Ficklen stadium.    

And as I hugged my friends and as I packed up the rest of my belongings in our apartment, I remember taking a deep breath.  

Ready to move on, ready to move ahead, ready to start living.  

I had no idea that I was already living.  

I had no idea that I would end up back in my hometown.  I had no idea that I would marry that guy I had just started dating (again).  I had no idea that I would follow him from place to place until we settled back in the town I had ran away from years ago.  Ran away from words that had cut deeply.  Ran away from people who were most unkind.  Ran away from the unkind words I had spoken in anger.  Ran away from the fear that I would never be as good as I wanted to be.  Ran away from the fear of letting people down.  Ran away from letting myself down. 

I had ran away from broken hearts, broken friendships, broken me.  

I didn't know, but He did.  

He knew those friends I made would resurface again years later.  He knew that broken relationships would be mended.  He knew the town that brought me my lerve, my education, some of my dearest friends, and my ability to stand on my two feet--He knew we'd become reacquainted sooner than I expected.  

If I had known, I would have stood there with arms wide open ready to receive it all. 

But, of course I didn't.  Because I was too busy looking forward to life starting.  To the beginning of something new.  To starting over from scratch.  To moving on to the next big thing.  

When all along the next big thing was occurring every single minute I breathed.  

Our next big thing happens every second of every minute of every hour of every day of every lifetime.  

Psalm 138:8:  The LORD will fulfill His purpose for me.  

Instead of focusing on the ahead, let's focus on the right now.  This is His purpose for you. This morning.  This place you're in.  This season of life.  This is His Divine Design for you.  He knows you.  Psalm 139. He knows your life.  He knows your plans.  

He knows.  

This life, these troubles, these joys--they are not accidental occurrences.  This is His will.  He wants you to learn from this.  He wants you to go through this.  

This is His design.  And if we are His people, and if we agree that He is good, and we agree to listen and to follow Him, then this time, designed by Him especially for you, is for your good.  

I have endured many experiences and trials to get to this place.  I had no idea at 22 that one day I would be a mom to two adorable girls.  I had no idea that I would teach in all the places I've taught.  I had no idea that I would walk through post-partum depression.  I had no idea I would live here.  I had no idea we would attend a church that had just started meeting at the local Boys and Girls Club.  I had no idea I would say goodbye to friends through moves, life changes, and deaths.  

I had no idea.  But I am thankful to be here, and I'm thankful for the path I walked (and sometimes crawled and sometimes needed to be carried) to get here.  

I think about many of my students who have recently graduated.  Excited to move on, move away, move forward.  Thinking they are leaving these days behind.  Thinking they are leaving those people behind.  Thinking they are leaving it all behind to start over.  

But the truth is, your life is happening now.  Take ahold of it.  Own it.  Embrace it.  

Psalm 139:16:  All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.  

You aren't starting your life over, you're just continuing down the path. 

Be thankful for this day, for the days behind you, and for your days ahead. 

Lice, Lice Baby

Lice. 

One of the worst of the four letter words you hope you NEVER have to utter in your household. 

I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.  

Not only is it a big ol' pain in the tail, these little critters are seriously cramping our style.  I've missed church two weeks in a row, I'm missing a very important wedding today, and Molly has missed a week's worth of school.  We can't do play dates, sleepovers, or anything else that involved child-to-child contact.  

I am OVER it.  

Maybe you've dealt with this before.  Apparently it's a big secret that no one wants to discuss.  As soon as I mentioned in a shameful and quiet tone that we're dealing with a "situation" more and more people share their own horror stories of lice infestation.  

However, as much as it makes you feel like a failure as a mom, please note that it has nothing to do with cleanliness.  In fact, it has nothing to do with anything--just simply bugs crawling on your child's head and deciding to make babies and then the babies make babies. . . and so on and so on.  Sort of like spiders or ants or fleas or snake or mole or mice or ticks or anything else.  They wander into your world and make life difficult until you can get rid of them.  

We've been battling the infestation for almost a week and a half now.  It's been a NIGHTMARE and I can honestly say I would rather have the explosive "both ends" stomach flu then deal with this.  

So, I've created a friendly step-by-step guide in order to help any of you in the future who might also have the opportunity to deal with these special visitors.  

1.  Notice child is scratching head.  Ask child, "Why are you scratching your head?"  Child says, "Because it itches."  Check child's head in a general way, see nothing.  Resume life. 

2.  Notice child is scratching head.  Ask child, "Why are your scratching your head?" Child says, "Because it itches."  

3.  Mild panic sets in.  

4.  Check child's head.  See weird black things all on child's scalp.  Assume it's from being in hot tub.  Make mental note to check filters on hot tub. Resume life.  

5.  Have a weird 'mommy instinct' moment and decide to check head again. 

6.  Inspect head.  See actual bug. 

7.  FREAK OUT!!! inside your head but try not to alarm child.  Throw up a little in your mouth. 

8.  Wake up husband. 

9.  Wake up mother (retired teacher) who is spending the night because sister had wisdom teeth out the day before and is high on drugs.  

10.  Everyone checks child's head.  Agree that lice are present. 

11.  Inform child that she will not be going to school. Child cries. 

12.  Inform child that she will not be going to school because she has bugs on her head.  Child freaks. 

13.  Send email to child's teacher and neighbor that child will not be going to school.  

14.  Freak a little because you have to actually use the word "lice" and your child's name in the same sentence. 

15.  Begin to feel an itchy scalp yourself.  Worry that it's not just sympathetic itching. 

16.  Send husband to store to locate remedy immediately.  

17.  Realize you have to go to work and cannot miss because of major function at school. 

18.  Deal with major mommy guilt.  

19.  Cry.  

20.  Begin to wonder who brought the lice to your house.  Send mental evil looks to potential suspects. 

21.  Have to leave for work.  Cry a little more.  

22.  Husband and mother apply Rid to child's head.  Call house 5 times during the day to get the play-by-play. 

23.  Arrive at work.  Take care of necessary items.  Research lice on internet. 

24.  Have panic attack.  

25.  Survive day at work.  

26.  Have itchy scalp.  Freak out and run to mirror to inspect. 

27.  Purchase expensive tea tree shampoo for preventative measure.  Pray that it works. 

28.  Come home, resume nit picking.  Understand why some parents just shave their children's heads.  

29.  Recognize that "nit picking" is one of the worst terms ever. 

30.  Freak when you see the amount of nits that must be removed from child's head. 

31.  Spend 2 hours twice a day removing nits from child's head.  Additionally, launder every towel, wash cloth, sheet, or pillow that has been used by infected child daily.  Bag up all other items that cannot be washed.  Vacuum like a mad woman.  Sterilize entire house every day.  

32.  Break child's heart when you reveal each day she won't be going to church or school.  However, there are other children in class with lice.  Feel slightly relieved.    

33.  Go on working retreat with spouse, mother in law comes to nit pick.  

34.  Feel guilty.  

35.  Feel itchy. 

36.  Arrive home and greeted by child announcing that nits have been found in other child's head. 

37.  Vomit a little in your mouth.  

38.  Have mother-in-law check your head.  Find one suspicious item.  

39.  RAGE

40.  Strip all sheets again, bag up all other child's stuffed animals, dress up clothing, and items that cannot be laundered. 

41.  Have permanent laundry pile in kitchen.  

42.  Feel miserable. Call friend.  Email another.  

43.  Treat all female family members with lice shampoo. 

44.  Shave male family member's head. 

45.  Cry.  

46.  Feel itchy. 

47.  Continue to nit pick daily on everyone's head. 

48.  Feel like you are back to the scheduled days of infant care

49.  Send child back to school after a week of treatment once finally cleared.  

50.  Feel fairly confident that you have finally gotten through the worst of it.  Continue to daily check heads and wash sheets and blankies. 

51.  Brush child's hair for church, see a louse run across her hair.  

52.  RAGE AGAIN!  Text worship leader to indicate that you won't be at church.  Text students to let them know you're missing their wedding.  Cry and feel sorry for yourself. 

53.  Call doctor's office and hope for prescription.  On-call nurse says, "They are nasty little boogers, aren't they?" Feel strangely comforted that perhaps said nurse has dealt with them as well.  

54.  Doctor wants child to come into office instead. 

55.  Agree to call to make appointment for regular business hours.  

56.  Cry a little. 

57.  Clean more.
58.  Write blog entry and hope that no one else has to deal with this.
59.  Have itchy scalp thinking about it.

So, we're obviously in progress but it's getting better.  I hope you NEVER have to deal with this.  However, if you do, know you are not alone.  It's a secret society, but not as secretive or exclusive as you might think.  I have always strived to be transparent on this blog, so there is no use hiding this struggle.  I'm sure someone reading this right now is nodding their head in agreement and from experience.  And if you haven't, your turn might be coming sooner than you think.  

What Makes Your Heart Full?

These past two weeks have been beyond chaotic.

My work has been crazy with exams and Commencement, we've had lots and lots of visitors (some very lovely, some not so lovely), there have been two retreats, visits from grandmas, and a house cleaning frenzy.

I've been completely out of my schedule and routine. I've been completely behind on my housework and because we've had other issues I'm swamped in laundry.

I've not had any time for myself.  To sit.  To pray.  To read.  To journal.

And my heart has been aching for it.  

This morning I whispered out loud one of the deepest desires of my heart.  I wrote it down in my journal.  I handed it to Him.

I don't know if He will make it come to pass.  And that's ok.  I'm feeling very S, M, and A these days and I'm clinging to Daniel 3:16-18 with everything I've got.  

But I've learned it never hurts to ask.  

This morning we're having a Movie Morning.  Instead of a movie night, we've decided to fix an enormous breakfast and watch a movie together in our pjs.  We're watching "Tangled"--which is fitting on so many levels.  

I hope your weekend is glorious and that your soul gets much needed rest. 

But Even if He Does Not

Molly and I had an interesting discussion about prayer this morning.  She had asked God for something very specific and was waiting to see if He would answer her prayers.

We agreed that even if He did not answer her prayer in the way she expected, that it was going to be ok.  We serve a God that isn't going to give us more than we can handle.

Daniel 3:16-18 (The Message)

 ^16-18 Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego answered King Nebuchadnezzar, "Your threat means nothing to us. If you throw us in the fire, the God we serve can rescue us from your roaring furnace and anything else you might cook up, O king. But even if he doesn't, it wouldn't make a bit of difference, O king. We still wouldn't serve your gods or worship the gold statue you set up."

Marriage Series at 31 Rubies

I'll be posting my Treasure Series this week at 31 Rubies!  

Come on over and check it out! 

There is Beauty in the Now.

There is beauty in the now when you have stood at the sink and prayed for cleansing. 

Cleansing of your soul, cleansing of your mind. 

Thankful for the moment of peace.  

There is Beauty in the Now.

When all you've got to show for the day is a dirty sponge.  

When you've spent the day wiping the signs of life occurring in your house. 

And you recognize that this life is so brief, so fleeting, so short. 

And that the grime is merely an indication of the blessing of time together.  

Beauty in the Now.

There are moments I look ahead and wonder, "What if?"

What if this situation comes to pass?  What if this situation doesn't come to pass?

It can all be a very worrisome process.  Ponder, worry, concern, and consider.  Repeat.

This morning I'm choosing to find the beauty in the now.  

The beauty of this morning.  This afternoon.  The today.  The tonight.

The beauty in my life this minute.  Without worry for tomorrow.  Without worry for later this week.  Without worry for a month, year, decade, or lifetime from now.

There is enough to do today to keep my mind occupied. 

There are dreams to make, pictures to draw, laundry to fold, counters to clean.  There are crumbs to wipe, faces to kiss, and books to read.  There are fairy princesses, bubbles in the tub, and the sunlight streaming through my windows at various points within the day.

There is beauty here.
Right this minute.
In the now.

Mama A Says: Girls! Put Your Clothes BACK ON!!!

Hello My Summer Lovin' Lovelies!

Mama A's back with more words of wisdom and advice for the young and fun folks in her world.

It was 80+ degrees this past week in eastern NC.

I didn't even have to step foot outside of my home (or car) to check the temperature.  Marvin and Jim on WITN didn't have to tell me it was hot outside.  I didn't even have to check my most favorite channel (TWC) to see the temperature.

Oh no, I have a much more reliable method.

All I have to look for is Prostitute Barbie!  

She's everywhere I go these days.  And I'm going to guess that you've seen her and all of her BFFs, too!

You might have a P.B. sighting if you've seen a girl/lady/woman:

• Wearing shorts that are up her booty butt crack.  
• Wearing a dress that was clearly on clearance because it only covers about one square foot of her body.  
• Wearing tank tops that she found in the toddler department (bonus: this sometimes results in a toddler belly pudge as well!)
• Pairing those toddler tanks with the shortest shorts known to mankind
• Wearing toddler tanks that plunge all the way to the toddler belly pudge
• Wearing clothing that suffocates AND accentuates simultaneously. 

Oh, it's sad when girls have no shame and insist on putting it ALL out there for the world to see.  No need to be mysterious, classy, or respectable--you're just going to literally let it all hang out.

There are many ways to look cute and stylish without having to resort to exposing yourself.  I'd expect these wardrobe choices if I was going to the club.  I even expect it when I'm at the beach or on the river.

But I'm tired of going to the grocery store, Target, weddings, and sometimes even churches and having to avert my gaze.  

Ladies!!!!!  Cover it up!!!!

You've been warned.