Lerve Songs: Rachel

Rachel is one of my favorite single ladies. She's cute, fiesty, short, and not afraid to tell the truth. She wears her dancer's heart on her sleeve and is a member of my extended family (and by "extended" I mean no blood relation). Her blog is a pretty eclectic outlook on her life, but that's why we love our Rashur.

“….IIIIIeeeeIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII will alwaaaaayyyyyyyyssss loooove youuuuuuuuuuuOOOoooOOOoooouuuuuu…”

I bet you can tell what song I’ll be ranting about.

That’s right – “I Will Always Love You” by Whitney Houston.

Unless you’ve been living under a rock, you know this song; or at least of it. Maybe you’ve belted it out at the top of your lungs after a breakup back in the 90’s, or maybe you just hum along to it if you hear it on the radio, OR – if you can bear to actually make it through the entire song without trying to find a sharp object to experiment with, you enjoy making a complete mockery of this awful song.

Now, before you start taking out your earrings, and shouting “No she didn’t!” I have nothing against Whitney Houston – the woman has some pipes! I mean, I like that one song that she sang with Mariah Carey for the Prince of Egypt… but that’s about it. Did you know that this song was originally written and sung by Dolly Parton? Yep. But when Whitney re-did it (you’d think for the better, but actually they’re both pretty freakin’ terrible), it quickly became associated with her.

Whenever I hear the first few notes of this song and then quickly scramble to change the station, I remember being upstairs in my cousin’s room one day, laughing hysterically at this song. We were laughing so hard that we were crying, and we couldn’t breathe. So when it doesn’t make me feel like chewing on glass, at least it makes me laugh pretty hard. It’s ridiculously slow and soft in the beginning, and there are these weird breaks in the verses. I mean really though – how do you NOT double over in laughter that first time she kicks it up a notch?

Just thinking about it makes me laugh. I cannot take this song seriously, even if I tried.

All of that being said…

I hate this song for another reason: the lyrics! I get that it’s supposed to be all sweet, “aww, she’s going to leave and let him be, but she’ll always love him… awww” But come on…

She’s talking about how she should just go, because she’s in his way… and she’s not what he needs… but yet she’s always going to love him???????? Does anyone else see anything wrong with this?! Why waste your time and energy?
I’m like “hmmm, well dag, if I’m all up in your way, and I’m not what you need….. then PEACE! I’ll go find someone else… but I sure as heck won’t love you anymore.” Especially not for always… are you serious?! Maybe the lyrics should be: “and I will always like you as a friend…” (that’s still nice, without the seriousness of love. Because we know she’s not saying she’ll love him as a friend. It just wouldn’t be a sappy crappy ballad without the unrequited love)
There’s nothing wrong with the part about her wishing him well and all that… it’s always nice to be mature enough to do that. But if it’s not going to work out with the dude… then I’m pretty sure it’s not healthy to keep loving him – always.

So, there you have it - My rant about one of the worst love songs of all time (in my opinion). But between the hilarious over-the-top, dramatic vocals, and the woman that keeps loving for no reason, I think this song should only be listened to when you need a good laugh… or not at all…

For those of you who would like to laugh: you can either 1) listen to the entire song or 2) Skip ahead to 3:11 and play from there – the outrageous dramatic, throaty, vocals do me in every time.


Thanks for the post, Rashur!

But seriously, "IIIIIIIIIIIIiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeeeeeiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii will always love YOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUoooooooooooooooooooooooo IIIIIIIIIIiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii . . . . will always. . . . loooovvvveeeeeee

youuuuuuuuuu, you. My darling you. I will always, I will always, love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu."

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