Sunday, February 6, 2011

Mama A is Afraid You are Going to Lose Your Fingers

Dear Students,

Mama A here, ready to encourage you to do better things and be the best "you" you can be.

I must address a serious issue here.

This will probably tick you off.

But, I really don't care, because I'm Mama A and I've got years and birthing hips to back up my mouth.

If you are a chronic texter/phone checker/status updater/can't breathe when the red light is blinking or the phone dings or vibrates sort of person.  I urge you:

Step away from the cell phone. 

Being attached to your cell phone and detached from the community around you is the same as standing in a room full of people and sticking your fingers in your ears while simultaneously screaming, "LALALALA I can't hear you!"

It's R-U-D-E RUDE!  

Honestly, I know that the cell phone is important to all of us, but if you can't step away from it during church, in the restroom, or during a meal with loved ones you've got a major issue.  

So, here are some times your cell phone should NOT be in use or visible (in case this post isn't clear enough). 

1.  Do not update from the toilet.  Honestly.  So gross. 

2. In a wedding, funeral, or church service.  Seriously?  What are you going to say, "And they just took Uncle Rudy down the aisle. . .and there goes Grandma Gladys"???

TACKY!!!!!!!

3.  At the dinner table.  Pay attention to those sitting with you rather than those in cyberspace. 

4.  When you are around old people.  They don't get it and they don't appreciate it.  It's beyond rude and it makes you look unintelligent.  

5.  When you are around new people.  They feel very uncomfortable and don't appreciate having to wait for you to finish your discussion with non-present people.  So inconsiderate.  

6.  Driving.  Obviously a bad life decision. 

I get that you need to stalk people check on everyone's updates and statuses, but really, there are times and places. 

And if I see you using your cellular device during those times and locations I may be inclined to break your knuckles. 

Or I'll send you a text to say, "PUT YOUR PHONE UP IF YOU KNOW WHAT'S GOOD FOR YOU!!!!"

Love and smooches, 

Mama A. 

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