Gone
She's really, really gone.
Gone.
Empty left aisle at church.
Unreturned emails.
Unreturned texts.
I wanted to be strong for her today--so strong.
I refused to let her down.
I needed the very music that my heart was so afraid to sing. My soul needed a place to put the pain and relief. I needed something tangible. I needed that release.
I made it all the way to the end of the last song and put my mic down and looked at my singing mates to see the tears streaming down their faces.
And I lost it.
I covered my mouth with my hands to keep the sobbing down while Tim prayed. I shook and trembled and did my best to get it together.
And then it was over.
And life kept moving.
Sort of.
Gone.
Empty left aisle at church.
Unreturned emails.
Unreturned texts.
She was just here and now she's gone.
I wanted to be strong for her today--so strong.
I refused to let her down.
I needed the very music that my heart was so afraid to sing. My soul needed a place to put the pain and relief. I needed something tangible. I needed that release.
I made it all the way to the end of the last song and put my mic down and looked at my singing mates to see the tears streaming down their faces.
And I lost it.
I covered my mouth with my hands to keep the sobbing down while Tim prayed. I shook and trembled and did my best to get it together.
And then it was over.
And life kept moving.
Sort of.
Everything will change, things will never be the same, we will never be the same.
I read your post. Although I was only her blog-friend, corresponding through her blog and e-mails, I feel as if I have lost a dear, dear friend. I looked forward to reading her posts because she had so MUCH to say. I have been grieving her loss, knowing that when I look on my "favorite places" sidebar, there will be no more posts from her. She made an impact on so many. I wrote about her in my blog "Jill (Your name means sweetheart)" because she was a one-of-kind person. My heart hurts for her family and those, like yourself, who knew her so well. I know the pain of losing a spouse and the father of my children. It will be a long and difficult road but the family and her friends will be lifted up in prayers. Thank you for sharing! Jill is beautiful!!!!
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