Heard this on a podcast this week:
Love God, Embrace Beauty, and Live Life to the Fullest
These are the words used by Kyle Lake each week for their benediction. Kyle was David Crowder's minister who died tragically during a baptism at their church.
Saturday, October 31, 2009
Friday, October 30, 2009
Thursday, October 29, 2009
Please pray
For Stellan. Poor baby is spending his first birthday in the hospital because of his severe heart complications.
Oh me.
Come quickly Jesus.
Please.
Oh me.
Come quickly Jesus.
Please.
Saturday, October 24, 2009
Pumpkins
In a little while the Averys are going to load up and drive to Tyler's house in Rocky Mount for pumpkin carving and food (honestly, how can this combination go wrong???) I am looking forward to spending time with my family--blood relatives and adopted members. The weather is beautiful right now--I hope the rain stays away!
Speaking of family, this was an excellent shot of us taken as we were waiting for the train in New Jersey. I lerve my family!
Have a great day everyone!
Thursday, October 22, 2009
Ready, Set, GO!
Busy day ahead--meeting some friends for coffee and playground time this morning, prepare lessons for school tomorrow, iron/laundry/PUT AWAY (ugh) clothes--it's really ridiculous needing two seasons of clothes for this weather, clean up some clutter, praise team practice tonight, and turn in some homework.
Oh yeah, and rest, spend QT with family, and not stress.
I can do this. . . I can do this. . . one step at a time.
Oh yeah, and rest, spend QT with family, and not stress.
I can do this. . . I can do this. . . one step at a time.
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
This is so good!
I didn't write this--Angie did, but you NEED to read it if you're a busy mama. . .
http://www.incourage.me/2009/10/hurry.html
http://www.incourage.me/2009/10/hurry.html
Sunday, October 18, 2009
Precious, Precious Child
You are such a funny child. You dance and say the craziest things.
You are such a sweetie--lately you've been saying, "You're beautiful" to me and others when you are happy.
I love it when you cup my face in your hands and say, "I love you, Mommy."
Did I make the right choice--switching jobs to stay home two more days a week?
Absolutely.
When there aren't good words to use. . .
My friend Jill often talks about "sitting" Job-style.
Sometimes you feel like you need to say something.
Today I felt that urge to say something to someone.
I've been wanting to say something for quite sometime, but didn't quite know what that something needed to be.
I'm not a good speaker.
I like to write things down, practice, re-write, and then maybe think of something better to say, or just chicken out.
There have been times that I've opened my mouth only to shove my size 7s inside.
So, today was THE DAY and I was not going to allow myself to chicken out.
Mustering every ounce of strength, I went over to speak to that someone.
Honestly, you would think that I was going over to speak to someone extremely famous the way my mouth dried up and my hands got all clammy. It was almost ridiculous.
I stumbled through my words, trying to get them across just right without saying something incredibly insensitive or thoughtless. Heaven forbid I say ANYTHING that is on "the list" that Janine talks about.
I don't think there were any words fitting for this situation.
Sometimes I think it has to be easier just to cry and shake our heads because words can't describe this kind of situation.
And while what I said wasn't the most wonderful, inspiring, or eloquent thing, it was completely honest.
And I just wanted to say something.
Sometimes you feel like you need to say something.
Today I felt that urge to say something to someone.
I've been wanting to say something for quite sometime, but didn't quite know what that something needed to be.
I'm not a good speaker.
I like to write things down, practice, re-write, and then maybe think of something better to say, or just chicken out.
There have been times that I've opened my mouth only to shove my size 7s inside.
So, today was THE DAY and I was not going to allow myself to chicken out.
Mustering every ounce of strength, I went over to speak to that someone.
Honestly, you would think that I was going over to speak to someone extremely famous the way my mouth dried up and my hands got all clammy. It was almost ridiculous.
I stumbled through my words, trying to get them across just right without saying something incredibly insensitive or thoughtless. Heaven forbid I say ANYTHING that is on "the list" that Janine talks about.
I don't think there were any words fitting for this situation.
Sometimes I think it has to be easier just to cry and shake our heads because words can't describe this kind of situation.
And while what I said wasn't the most wonderful, inspiring, or eloquent thing, it was completely honest.
And I just wanted to say something.
Saturday, October 17, 2009
My feeble attempt to be better. . .
I am going to attempt to be better. In a lot of things, in the little things, in all things.
Is this desire to be better really a desire for my competitive self to be the BEST?
No. Well, not really in the personal sense.
You see, I am a very driven individual. Left to my own demise I could probably railroad just about anyone to make sure I came out on top. I have this inner desire to be the best at everything.
I am a winner.
I like the idea of being number 1--I like the praise that comes with being number 1. In school I would bend myself into a pretzel to make sure I was in the top of the heap. I would study, practice, smile, and do everything I needed to do to make people like me for me.
And that "me" was a winning combination--or at least I thought so.
It's funny how I determined my worth on the amount of admirers I had, or the way my friends spoke to me, or how the teachers praised my hard work. What I lacked in scholastic ability (mainly of the math variety) I made up for with respectful behavior and good manners. Even if I was dangerously close to failing trig or the other advanced maths, my teachers loved me because I was very nice.
I didn't try to be fake about being nice, it was just the right thing to do. My feeble attempt to be better actually wasn't all that bad. And it wasn't about being an impostor, it was me actually trying to be the best--Miss Manners-style.
This crazy sense of competition is what drives me. I like the thrill of the challenge. I like knowing how to play the game to win. The unknown freaks me out, but I can master the routine.
In the meantime, I have gotten married and had two cute little girls. The desire to be numero uno has been replaced trying to encourage them to be the best they can be. Sometimes I get sooo frustrated with Chris and his lack of motivation to be the best. Yes, he likes to do things well and get things done, but to him it's not important to be the best (at least not for the things that I feel are very important--like keeping the house clean, children wearing matching clothes, eating well-balanced meals, or avoiding clutter). His motivation is to be a good husband, good minister, good daddy, and a good relaxer. I am the tumbleweed in the family--blowing in, swirling things around (Quick! Molly needs her lunchbox packed! Quick! There is clutter overtaking my world!!! Quick! We have 782397029743 things to do in the next hour!!!)
I think my sense of control hit an all time high after Molly was born and I realized that life was so precious and at any moment she, or I, could be taken away.
And I was NOT ok with that thought.
So, I went into a horrible place in which I controlled my world and shut Jesus OUT.
I'll just say it was not cute. I was not the winner. And it was not praiseworthy behavior.
I'm trying to let my life not be about winning or losing.
How do I lose if I put others first?
How do I lose if I commit to love my husband better than I love myself?
How do I lose if I commit to take care of the needs of our house and family?
My aim has shifted. My desire to be number 1 is still in tact, but in different ways.
When I look at things I dislike about myself I see where my desire to be number 1 has moved.
Not happy with body image? Yeah, because I let my food and exercises choices control me. Gluttony. (Ew. What a terrible word fitting of a terrible sin!)
Not happy with clutter? Yeah, because I choose to spend my time on meaningless activities OR over-booking our family with activities and commitments. Not taking time to rest like we are commanded.
Not happy with my wardrobe? Yeah, because I am too concerned with appearances. Pride. "Consider the lilies. . ."
The list goes on and on.
Sometimes I think about where I've come from and where I'm headed and I'm not always sure I made the right decisions along the way. Did my feeble attempts to be better put me in the best situations? Can I really be the BEST homemaker, the BEST friend, the BEST teacher, the BEST person?
No. (oh, how a little piece of me dies when I admit that out loud. . .)
It's draining to be the best. Even in a ministry family it's emotionally, physically, and spiritually exhausting to be the best. Everyone's needs come before our own at times. We must keep up appearances of realistic perfection. We must be there at certain activities because it's expected--we know how people talk about us when we're not there (thank goodness at Christ's Church that's not a huge problem. I love worshipping with rational people!!!!)
So, I'm going to be better.
A better me. The girl that loves her Jesus, her husband, her family, and herself.
I will continue to strive to be my personal best, but I will stop making myself emotionally vulnerable for the pleasure of others.
I do not have to be THE best, just the best me.
Is this desire to be better really a desire for my competitive self to be the BEST?
No. Well, not really in the personal sense.
You see, I am a very driven individual. Left to my own demise I could probably railroad just about anyone to make sure I came out on top. I have this inner desire to be the best at everything.
I am a winner.
I like the idea of being number 1--I like the praise that comes with being number 1. In school I would bend myself into a pretzel to make sure I was in the top of the heap. I would study, practice, smile, and do everything I needed to do to make people like me for me.
And that "me" was a winning combination--or at least I thought so.
It's funny how I determined my worth on the amount of admirers I had, or the way my friends spoke to me, or how the teachers praised my hard work. What I lacked in scholastic ability (mainly of the math variety) I made up for with respectful behavior and good manners. Even if I was dangerously close to failing trig or the other advanced maths, my teachers loved me because I was very nice.
I didn't try to be fake about being nice, it was just the right thing to do. My feeble attempt to be better actually wasn't all that bad. And it wasn't about being an impostor, it was me actually trying to be the best--Miss Manners-style.
This crazy sense of competition is what drives me. I like the thrill of the challenge. I like knowing how to play the game to win. The unknown freaks me out, but I can master the routine.
In the meantime, I have gotten married and had two cute little girls. The desire to be numero uno has been replaced trying to encourage them to be the best they can be. Sometimes I get sooo frustrated with Chris and his lack of motivation to be the best. Yes, he likes to do things well and get things done, but to him it's not important to be the best (at least not for the things that I feel are very important--like keeping the house clean, children wearing matching clothes, eating well-balanced meals, or avoiding clutter). His motivation is to be a good husband, good minister, good daddy, and a good relaxer. I am the tumbleweed in the family--blowing in, swirling things around (Quick! Molly needs her lunchbox packed! Quick! There is clutter overtaking my world!!! Quick! We have 782397029743 things to do in the next hour!!!)
I think my sense of control hit an all time high after Molly was born and I realized that life was so precious and at any moment she, or I, could be taken away.
And I was NOT ok with that thought.
So, I went into a horrible place in which I controlled my world and shut Jesus OUT.
I'll just say it was not cute. I was not the winner. And it was not praiseworthy behavior.
I'm trying to let my life not be about winning or losing.
How do I lose if I put others first?
How do I lose if I commit to love my husband better than I love myself?
How do I lose if I commit to take care of the needs of our house and family?
My aim has shifted. My desire to be number 1 is still in tact, but in different ways.
When I look at things I dislike about myself I see where my desire to be number 1 has moved.
Not happy with body image? Yeah, because I let my food and exercises choices control me. Gluttony. (Ew. What a terrible word fitting of a terrible sin!)
Not happy with clutter? Yeah, because I choose to spend my time on meaningless activities OR over-booking our family with activities and commitments. Not taking time to rest like we are commanded.
Not happy with my wardrobe? Yeah, because I am too concerned with appearances. Pride. "Consider the lilies. . ."
The list goes on and on.
Sometimes I think about where I've come from and where I'm headed and I'm not always sure I made the right decisions along the way. Did my feeble attempts to be better put me in the best situations? Can I really be the BEST homemaker, the BEST friend, the BEST teacher, the BEST person?
No. (oh, how a little piece of me dies when I admit that out loud. . .)
It's draining to be the best. Even in a ministry family it's emotionally, physically, and spiritually exhausting to be the best. Everyone's needs come before our own at times. We must keep up appearances of realistic perfection. We must be there at certain activities because it's expected--we know how people talk about us when we're not there (thank goodness at Christ's Church that's not a huge problem. I love worshipping with rational people!!!!)
So, I'm going to be better.
A better me. The girl that loves her Jesus, her husband, her family, and herself.
I will continue to strive to be my personal best, but I will stop making myself emotionally vulnerable for the pleasure of others.
I do not have to be THE best, just the best me.
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Pre-"better" Post
A few "musts" for NYC with children:
1. Ride the subway. Very safe, very fast, very cool. Yes, you will get turned around. Yes, you will meet some interesting people. But it's very cheap ($2.25 one way--with as many stops as you want, and children ride free) and a fast way to get around the city. And as long as you stay in the Manhattan area you will be fine.
2. Stop at Grand Central Station--just like the movies. Free to look at. :)
3. The Natural History Museum--very awesome. They have "suggested" prices for admission ($16 for adults, seems like $8? for children) HOWEVER you do not have to pay that much. They ring you up and give you the suggested price and you offer to pay less. Our family would have cost about $50, I only paid $20. Technically, you could pay $1.00 (or nothing I guess) a person and they would have to let you in. I think it's well worth a $5.00 per person admission--I think it's worth the $50 we would have paid, but we're thrifty. We only got through the 1st and 4th floors--and we stopped very briefly to see DumDum from the movie "Night in the Museum"on the 3rd floor. It was very nice and very cool. Animals, dinos, gemstones, etc. My kids LOVED it.
4. FAO Schwarz and Toys R Us. Two huge stores--very cool for children. FAO has create your own Muppets and Barbies that my girls thought were cool. Toys R Us has a ferris wheel. Inside. Crazy.
5. Rockefeller Center--just like on tv. Skating rinks, tv broadcasts. Go underneath and it's a little shopping area.
6. Get lost and wander around Central Park--free and fun. If you walk along the 5th Ave side you'll see some cool houses and shopping.
7. World Trade Center. If you ride the PATH transit--cheap train ($1.75 per person, kids free) it takes you right to the site. You can also see the construction for the new memorial.
8. American Girl Store. If you have a girl you should go. Trust me. 3 floors of babies, dolls, and clothes. Wow. Molly is a new fan.
9. Times Square. Lots of lights--but can be overwhelming with the people and noise for young children.
1. Ride the subway. Very safe, very fast, very cool. Yes, you will get turned around. Yes, you will meet some interesting people. But it's very cheap ($2.25 one way--with as many stops as you want, and children ride free) and a fast way to get around the city. And as long as you stay in the Manhattan area you will be fine.
2. Stop at Grand Central Station--just like the movies. Free to look at. :)
3. The Natural History Museum--very awesome. They have "suggested" prices for admission ($16 for adults, seems like $8? for children) HOWEVER you do not have to pay that much. They ring you up and give you the suggested price and you offer to pay less. Our family would have cost about $50, I only paid $20. Technically, you could pay $1.00 (or nothing I guess) a person and they would have to let you in. I think it's well worth a $5.00 per person admission--I think it's worth the $50 we would have paid, but we're thrifty. We only got through the 1st and 4th floors--and we stopped very briefly to see DumDum from the movie "Night in the Museum"on the 3rd floor. It was very nice and very cool. Animals, dinos, gemstones, etc. My kids LOVED it.
4. FAO Schwarz and Toys R Us. Two huge stores--very cool for children. FAO has create your own Muppets and Barbies that my girls thought were cool. Toys R Us has a ferris wheel. Inside. Crazy.
5. Rockefeller Center--just like on tv. Skating rinks, tv broadcasts. Go underneath and it's a little shopping area.
6. Get lost and wander around Central Park--free and fun. If you walk along the 5th Ave side you'll see some cool houses and shopping.
7. World Trade Center. If you ride the PATH transit--cheap train ($1.75 per person, kids free) it takes you right to the site. You can also see the construction for the new memorial.
8. American Girl Store. If you have a girl you should go. Trust me. 3 floors of babies, dolls, and clothes. Wow. Molly is a new fan.
9. Times Square. Lots of lights--but can be overwhelming with the people and noise for young children.
Wanting to be better. . .
Hello faithful readers (all 4 of you. . .),
I have not dropped off the face of the earth, but the Averys have been busy, busy, busy. Midterms at work, graduate work at ECU, trips to NYC (yes, really!), and so on and so on. . .
I have been thinking and stewing and chewing on several things lately---all of which are swimming around nicely in my head until I can get some time to myself to blog vomit.
In the meantime, allow me to share one photo from our recent trip to NYC until I have time to upload the rest. . .
This was Molly in front of FAO Schwarz before she went in and created her very own Barbie from head to toe. She picked out the hair, clothes, shoes, and purse through a touch screen and BAM! Barbie comes out on a runway for everyone's viewing pleasure. It was not too terribly expensive and well worth the experience.
I have some things to take care of today in Dover before we head back home tomorrow. Molly will take Friday off of school to complete her homework and REST before heading back to school next Monday. We have a busy weekend ahead with Chris at a CCF retreat, birthday parties, church, and the after vacation things that have to be taken care of. EEK! Lots to do, not a lot of time to take care of it!
When things calm down a smidge--or perhaps on my drive home tomorrow I'll attempt to compose a lovely blog about being "better."
XOXXO
I have not dropped off the face of the earth, but the Averys have been busy, busy, busy. Midterms at work, graduate work at ECU, trips to NYC (yes, really!), and so on and so on. . .
I have been thinking and stewing and chewing on several things lately---all of which are swimming around nicely in my head until I can get some time to myself to blog vomit.
In the meantime, allow me to share one photo from our recent trip to NYC until I have time to upload the rest. . .
I have some things to take care of today in Dover before we head back home tomorrow. Molly will take Friday off of school to complete her homework and REST before heading back to school next Monday. We have a busy weekend ahead with Chris at a CCF retreat, birthday parties, church, and the after vacation things that have to be taken care of. EEK! Lots to do, not a lot of time to take care of it!
When things calm down a smidge--or perhaps on my drive home tomorrow I'll attempt to compose a lovely blog about being "better."
XOXXO
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
Trust
I have a lot of issues with trust.
I don't like to tell people my deepest, darkest secrets.
I get very paranoid when things have to come together.
I get nervous when I need information and people don't respond to my emails or call me back.
I need to let go of some of my control issues.
Especially when I know that God has never me down.
I don't like to tell people my deepest, darkest secrets.
I get very paranoid when things have to come together.
I get nervous when I need information and people don't respond to my emails or call me back.
I need to let go of some of my control issues.
Especially when I know that God has never me down.
Sunday, October 4, 2009
His Ways are not my ways. . .
His ways are not my ways.
His ways are not my ways.
His ways are not my ways.
Please pray for my friend, Jill.
She is a tough girl, but sometimes it appears that ALS is a little tougher.
She is strong.
She is courageous.
Just sometimes her body lets her down.
Jesus WILL heal her.
One way or another.
His ways are not my ways.
He's got this all figured out.
His ways are not my ways.
If I had my way, no one would have to suffer.
Ever.
However, thanks to this nasty little thing called "sin" we're stuck here dealing with crap, pain, and agony.
One day.
One day very soon, Jesus will come back (GLORY!) and this crap will be behind us.
It's the patience that's killer sometimes.
I love you, love you, love you Jill.
His ways are not my ways.
His ways are not my ways.
Please pray for my friend, Jill.
She is a tough girl, but sometimes it appears that ALS is a little tougher.
She is strong.
She is courageous.
Just sometimes her body lets her down.
Jesus WILL heal her.
One way or another.
His ways are not my ways.
He's got this all figured out.
His ways are not my ways.
If I had my way, no one would have to suffer.
Ever.
However, thanks to this nasty little thing called "sin" we're stuck here dealing with crap, pain, and agony.
One day.
One day very soon, Jesus will come back (GLORY!) and this crap will be behind us.
It's the patience that's killer sometimes.
I love you, love you, love you Jill.
Saturday, October 3, 2009
Molly's Great Discovery
Last night we went to Washington to see Chris, Jordan, and Everember play at the Civic Center. My girls really enjoyed dancing with their buddy Silas and wearing their "I Love Aaron" and "Future Mrs. Collins" t-shirts designed by Rachel.
As we were walking into the concert last evening, Molly looked at the handicapped sign painted on the ground next to her and said,
"Mommy? Why did they put a picture of a little boy on the potty right there?"
Oh me.
As we were walking into the concert last evening, Molly looked at the handicapped sign painted on the ground next to her and said,
"Mommy? Why did they put a picture of a little boy on the potty right there?"
Oh me.
Thursday, October 1, 2009
Shake it, don't break it. . .
It took your mama 9 months to make it!
The joys of being a semi stay at home mommy:
dancing/hopping/spinning with your two year old at 8:15am.
Wiping chocolately faces.
Saying, "Go ahead, make your pee pee come out!"
PJ pants and sweatshirts on so you can enjoy the cool autumn air through open windows.
Coffee and no rush to go anywhere.
Playing catch.
Life is GREAT!
The joys of being a semi stay at home mommy:
dancing/hopping/spinning with your two year old at 8:15am.
Wiping chocolately faces.
Saying, "Go ahead, make your pee pee come out!"
PJ pants and sweatshirts on so you can enjoy the cool autumn air through open windows.
Coffee and no rush to go anywhere.
Playing catch.
Life is GREAT!
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